Photo-phobia

I hate getting my picture taken. I avoid it as much as possible.

Today the unavoidable occurred: FAMILY PHOTO DAY! My daughter and I haven't had a family picture done in a few years because of my photo-phobia. Now, I don't have the money to do something elaborate like my friend at work who takes her children in every three months and spends approximately $300 for the professional photog. I've got to go the cheaper route...but that's not the point.

I hate my picture taken. Few reasons why but the primary reason is I'm just not attractive. And every year I get older I seem to get a bit heavier (thank you Prozac, Lithium, Depakote, Lamictal!!!).Yuck!!! And you know the old saying, the camera adds ten pounds....geez, I hate pictures.

But, I suck it up. BECAUSE I have one bloody family portrait with my parents and siblings. Want to know when it was taken? I'll give you a hint. My brother was born in 1976 and in the portrait he was sitting in a blanket covered carrier type thing because he probably just learned to walk. I do not want my child growing up wondering why we never took family pics.

So.....I carry my fat ass to the studio and pretend I'm happy with myself. And they turn out ok. I'm depressed for the rest of the day but know it will pass. Afterall, it's not about me and my hang-ups. It's about family: a memory of my child and me.