For love
How much would you go through for the love of your life?
Would you endure his/her confinement to a wheelchair because of quadraplegia?
Would you modify your life to care for terminally ill partner?
Would you give up your chance for children to love an infertile/sterile spouse?
Would you stay with your lover who suffers daily with mental illness?
Would you remain in a marriage of 30+ years if your wife/husband announced wanting to change genders?
Very insightful comments. I'm no expert in love, but here is my 2 nickles worth. I know that we have to be somewhat ok with ourselves before delving into the realm of male/female companionship. I always took love to be like friendship..or even like a flower...As gardeners we need to cultivate and prepare the ground....add the couple into the prepared soil...feed the relationship with nutrients, and help fight the negetive aspects of love together with respect, understanding, and patience.
I know it is easier said than done...relationships of any type is very hard to maintain, but if one can maintain a friendship thats half of the battle to acceptance and love of the union (be it friendship, love..etc.) It's too bad we don't learn some of these skills in school.
I hope I made sense. I know that having the relationship we want is hard. So easily we fall into the pits of our insecuities...tyeing ourselves to people we know are not good for us. In our desperation of not wanting to be alone "forever." This I am working on too. Trying not to fall into this trap. It's not easy...I have fallen many times but try to get on my horse and continue my journey of love without getting dry rot. :)
Posted by:Ali | 02 March 2004 at 04:05 PM
Can I just say, Alicia that I'm so happy for your input here. I always look forward to your response on my posts. Thanks.
Posted by:Naomi | 01 March 2004 at 10:36 AM
Love is supposed to make you feel good *and*, in my book, love is supposed to encourage you to be the best you that you can be.
You have a lot to be proud of in yourself and love about yourself. I hope you see it sometimes. It's good to have friends to remind you, too :)
Posted by:Alicia | 01 March 2004 at 10:28 AM
It's a constant on my mind as well. I'll be the first to admit that I'm having difficulties with the whole love thing. I feel I'm years away from self-love and that just depresses me that I may never be ready for another person to love me. And because I'm afraid of not having the right kind of love in a relationship, I pull completely into myself avoiding all love. Such a vicious cycle. Isn't love supposed to make you feel good?
Posted by:Naomi | 01 March 2004 at 01:10 AM
Absolutely. Not to mention it creates heady chemicals in our brains that are addictive. It isn't just a feeling. There are sex addicts and love addicts and all kinds of addicts that are looking for that fix, that chemical rush in the brain of endorphins of some kind.
I am wondering if that hole inside me doesn't need to be filled with love for myself first, before I am even capable of accepting healthy love from someone else. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Can you tell? :)
Posted by:Alicia | 01 March 2004 at 12:48 AM
I'll have to check it out, Alicia. You are so right about this lust for attention. We feel incomplete if we haven't found this other person to justify who we are. We have this need to be validated and loved by other people in order to feel right with ourselves. Unfortunately so many people fall into relationships that are unhealthy or that don't make it past the first hardship. Too many of us falling in love with the idea of love?
Posted by:Naomi | 01 March 2004 at 12:10 AM
I think you are right, many people don't think about how difficult relationships are. They also have odd expectations based on books and movies and twisted by dysfunctional families.
I just got a book called "Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships" by Osho that is proposing that what many people think is love in our society is really lust. I think it is talking about lust not for the body, but for attention, affection, that sort of thing that clouds our judgment as well as physical lust. True unconditional love has no expectations and lives to serve the love, not the lover. So far I am really enjoying the read.
Posted by:Alicia | 29 February 2004 at 11:50 PM
It does make sense, Alicia. For a love that means so much to your life, there should be no question of whether or not you are there for them. And I think that's what you are saying. That's how I feel about it. And as you've mentioned there would be many difficulties to address. But I just wonder how many people go into relationships thinking about how difficult it could possibly be..maybe not as extreme as some of those but most definitely seeing past the 'honeymoon' stage of love.
Posted by:Naomi | 28 February 2004 at 09:35 AM
For my true love, if all other things were there and he wanted me there, then yes. For instance if he wanted to change genders, he may want to move on to another part of his life, one I couldn't share. That might make a difference. If he were a quadriplegic, I'd be there. If he were a quadriplegic who has no sense of the world around him and couldnt interact in other ways, I'd take care of him but not look to him for companionship.
make sense?
Posted by:Alicia | 28 February 2004 at 09:10 AM