the rambles of a mad woman

I don't care what anyone says. Being without online service and easy access to my blog does NOT get any easier with time. DTs! DTs!

Ack!

Read a couple of books over the weekend. The Body Spoken is marvelous. The woman's story pulls you in like a rip current. You feel compelled to discover the mysterious Hemy as much as the man on the train does. Moonlight on the Avenue of Faith had me until the very end. I was disappointed in the author's final fate of Roxanna.

I know. I don't go into detail about any of the books I've read but this isn't a book report.

I started writing a story. I don't know how long it's going to be but I like the premise of it. It will probably be like the other writing projects I started....abadoned. I've a million and one story ideas. I have the characters already living their lives inside my head but I can't get them living and breathing on paper. I run full-speed into these tremendous walls within me and stop.

eh...

Been having some desparate moments lately. VERY desparate moments. I wish I had someone to just sit up late with me and talk me through them. Feeling cut-off from others. No internet. No phone. No body.

Ever had a desparate moment? A can't-breathe-don't-know-where-to-turn-to desparate moment? What did you do to get beyond it?

I had a dream the other night that my father died. Same night I dreamt that I cut all Em's hair off while she screamed and fought me. Next night I had a dream that I had intercourse with two unknown men live on the internet with friends standing in a roped off section of the room watching. Strange, yes?!

Got an email from my friend Brian. He's been travelling the world for the last six months and has finally returned to the States. Lot of things I want to say about him but haven't worked through the thoughts myself yet.

hmmmm....

Looking in the mirror lately, I've discovered that I look old. Now I'm not one for that superficial nonsense of getting plastic surgery to stay young looking. ANNNND...I've been told time and time again that I look younger than I am. But I think I feel this way because of the lack of activity in my life. I feel like time is slipping quickly past and I'm doing nothing. Makes me feel old. I think the inactivity makes me feel dead. I need a shot of Vitamin B...at least emotionally.

God.