I of course, mean no respect to Mother Kali, Hinduism, or Hindus or anyone's personal beliefs. I was blog hopping and jumped from Ali to Gemini and Scorpio and found this scope for the Scorpio. As of late, it seems so true (Hmmmm, Gus?). Reading it made me think of Kali. Heh....I've been saying I'm a goddess. Been told I'm a goddess. Who am I to argue?! Perhaps I just didn't know I was Mother Kali.
Whatever is dark, deep, mystical and hidden in the depths of your soul can be drawn out through your crotch. So knows Scorpio, who understands that your most secret parts can be exposed through close contact with your privates. After all, Scorpio rules the doorway between sex and death, and he or she likes to visit that doorway as often as possible. In truth, Scorpio isn't a sex addict. He or she simply has no time for trivialities. If you pique a Scorpio's interest, he or she wants to taste, smell and understand you inside and out. Why waste precious time with skin-deep chatter when Scorpio could have already gutted you and spread your organs across her bedroom floor for seriously close examination? On the other hand, if you fail to stir Scorpio's deep waters, don't expect a polite kiss good-bye. Expect either a silent dismissal (why bother with anything else?) or evisceration. Annoy a Scorpion, and you won't simply be stung. You'll be fully injected with systemic poison that will invade every pore and inform it of its inadequacy. The opposite of generation is destruction, after all. Love with a Scorpio is a bloody, vicious ride through the unconscious, and only the strong of heart need apply.
I was talking to a friend and noticed a huge (and I mean GI-normous) grasshopper sunning on my plants outside. Wished I had a digital camera...even a cheap ass one to share the moment with everyone. So, I went out and bought one. It's not all expensive and full of all the bells and whistles but Em and I are having fun already. So, I'm including a few shots of what we've not deleted since the purchase last night. Enjoy! And expect more. I'm a shutterbug and one for instant gratification. DIGITAL CAMERAS WERE MADE FOR ME!!!!!
Bought a crocheted hat (because I can't do one yet). And with no hair around my face, I look extremely ethnic. Amazing how sometimes we forget how we look until something reminds us. Here is how the conversation would go between either myself and Em or my sister.
"I look Asian."
"You are Asian."
"Yeah, but I look more Asian today."
"Because you are Asian."
Why am I surprised at times to find that I'm Asian?
Em and I were walking down the aisles when I snapped the first picture with my digital. Life is like that....at least memories. Out of focus except for those few moments of recollection that define us and seem to impact us greatly. Here we catch Em smiling. Moving. No stagnant waters in her soul. Kinda cool. How I always remember the kid. On the go and bringing love and laughter to my heart.
My family...and I mean, entire family....is gathering this weekend for a family reunion/birthday celebration. These folk are my pop's family and the only family I know since I've only met three people total from my mom's side.
Here's the thing. The crazy lady married to my father's brother hates me...and honestly, she isn't on my list of people I would give a kidney to (ie, I don't like her. Not at all). She's insane. I kid you not. She believes that she in entitled to treat everyone like shit because she is God's gift to humanity. She lies. She connives. She is jealous as hell. And she is just plain ol' crazy.
I want to see my family. My grandparents. My cousins. My cousins' children. My aunts and uncles. My sister. My brother. My dad and his wife. Afterall, I was brought into this family before The Great Crazy One married into it. But, I wasn't invited. I wasn't invited a couple years ago when it was held here in Pensacola either. I can't make the reunions when they are held in the other states. Wisconsin and Colorado are just too far, and as we all know....Nae just don't have no money.
Unlike the previous Pensacola gathering, this one is being held in Alabama. I only know this because my immediate family...Jenn, Shawn, and Pop....told me. But in combination of it being a family reunion, the clan is celebrating my uncle's fiftieth birthday. A reunion had to be scheduled for this year and crazy lady decided to kill the proverbial two birds with one stone. So....what do I do? Crash it? Or just let it pass and enjoy the weekend off (I requested the entire weekend....just in case)?
Have I mentioned this woman is insane? Yeah, I am too but SHE REALLY is insane.
I want your opinion. I've added a new function to Light and Darkness. I'm polling!!! YAY! Would seriously enjoy the majority's opinion.
Two days in a row, I had a Lister. These are those people who seem to believe that I can't retain more than one thing in my pretty little brain. They wait until I have finished each item separately. Have laid it beautifully before them before proceeding on to the their next yummy.
Last night, I had a man ask me for a large popcorn....by the way, he was also a Mumbler. ECK! A Lister is bad enough but when you combine it with mumbling?! DAMN! I asked him if that would be all. He made a noise like he wasn't done and was going to add something else. I stood waiting while he looked up at the board. "Sir, anything else?"
Gruffly, "No. Just the popcorn."
Filled the tub and then set it before him. "Anything else?"
"No," he replied again.
Gave him his total. He paid. Then he asked me for a large drink. "Anything else?"
"No. Just the large lemonade."
Filled the cup and set it before him. "Anything else?"
Gave him his total. He paid.
"I need a candy and a nachos."
"Anything else?" Can I note that I was getting a bit tired of this by now.
You know what happens next. This happened two more times. SWEAR!! Each and every time I asked if he wanted more. Adamant that he needed nothing else until RIGHT AFTER I CLOSED THE FREAKIN MONEY DRAWER after each payment.
I will not scream. I will not yell. I will not slap the customer. I will smile. I will love everyone!!!! Oh yes...and I will not slap the customer.
Today's Lister was just as bad...AND I almost yelled at her. I know I gave her attitude.
The lines at the other registers were long so I jumped on mine and asked for the next person. This woman comes barrelling towards me with four/five children and another woman. As SOON as she reaches my register, she decides she has no fucking idea what any of them want. Let's not mention that she was already in line for several minutes. Let's not mention that all that time was ample for her to look at the boards and decide what their group wanted. Let's not mention that they could have gathered themselves way before getting up to the register. It's not like I suddenly change the menu items as soon as the next customer decides to order.
So, I ask her what she wants. She turns to yell and glare at her children. I wait. I wait. I wait some more. She asks for a large drink. And she turns again to the children to ask them what they want. Before they decide, she turns to me to give me another drink order. Still waiting on what I'm getting her in either drink. She starts a conversation with her friend about what they are going to order. Still no decision for the first drink order. Then she tells me she wants popcorn. Size? Hell, I don't know. She has two chats going on with other people when her remaining children decide to ask for things.
Ok...what drinks? What size popcorn? Do you want butter? Simple questions. I expected simple answers. I finally get that I'm filling one drink with Pibb. The other, Diet Coke. Woman is still trying to decide how many drinks while I'm trying to discern what the hell is going on. She tells me at one point, "Double that" while pointing at the first drink. Hmmmm, I'm assuming she meant the second large soda. She tells me to layer her popcorn while asking her boys what kind of drinks they want.
Two sodas down. I'm working on the popcorn. She's like a schizophrenic bipiolar at the counter. Her mood went from being pissed to manic to regular conversational tone WHILST talking to five different people...not including me. Lay the popcorn down and ask her what else she wants. She says something about, "We're getting two of these."
"Two large combos. Large popcorn with two large drinks?"
"No. We already have the two large drinks," she hisses at me. "We need two popcorns. Done the same way." She says all this while still asking the boys what they want to drink and telling her friend that they should get another popcorn and more drinks.
I get the damn second popcorn. Place it on the counter. One of the boys asks me if we serve root beer. No.
Crazy, mean woman asks for a third popcorn while STILL talking to every person with her. I'm asking what other drinks she needs. She can't decide on sizes. She changes her mind a couple of times. Then tells me, "medium Sprite and small rootbeer" while I'm getting the third popcorn.
"No rootbeer," I respond. By this time, I know I sounded harsh. Tried not to. Really did. I even added a smile. But I walked away to get medium drinks while saying it.
"We'll take a Dr. Pepper then," she said rather meanly.
I almost walked away from her at that moment.
After completing the list, I asked her if she needed something else. No. Gave her the total and offered a receipt. She didn't look at me. And I didn't look at her. Called the next person in line while she handed out the items. At that moment, one of her female children asked for change. Explained that I couldn't do that and she had to go to box office if she wanted to break her bill. The woman roughly said to her child, "Just let me give you change. It's easier than having to go through the hassle of dealing with these people."
Um....Yeah. Hassle of dealing with me? BITCH, you are lucky you still have that overbite in your fucking mouth!
Believe it or not....you're reading the blog of a chick who was employee of the month TWO TIMES IN A ROW. Yeah, I know how to fake it.
Today is Murray Day!!! Yay for Murray Day. My good friend from PlanetThoughtful is having/had a birthday (eh, that whole time zone thing). Anyways, want to wish him a happy birthday. Lots of warm thoughts to you. I hope your birthday is one of great joy and happiness.
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday...Birthday to you!
I love those photo booths. EVERYONE should take a few dollars and hop into one for a photo shoot.
I hate having my picture taken. Eh, I am sooooooooooo freaking fat. Eh. Eh. Eh. Oh well. Doesn't keep me from doing what I need to do though.
Em and I had a lot of fun taking these. We are a couple nutters. They're are actually two more sets of them but we're not going to post those. The guy in the third one is a co-worker that wanted desparately to be included.
I seriously need a digital. I like having instant photos to post. Too much fun with pictures.
I must praise the majority of patrons that walked the halls at the cinema today. You came and watched and did a good job not to annoy the hell out of me...and the last few days, it has been touch and go with my moods.
But in the spirit of Fresh Fish, I must submit a COD so I give you one from just a couple of weeks ago. It's the Something for Nothing guy.
This COD made his way through my line with wife and children. I can't recall the exact number in their party but I think in total, the number was five. They ordered quite a bit of food. A couple of hotdog combos, the largest popcorn combo, candy, and the lot. Pretty sizable amount of food. We like those...drives up my daily transaction average which nominates me for the prizes at the employee meetings (don't get too excited. They're usually coupons...sometimes exprired at that...to a local fast food chain).
All was said and done with Father COD.
Approximately ten minutes later, I was refilling a popcorn tub for a woman who was complaining about the stale popcorn we had the audacity to serve her. I wasn't paying much attention to who she was talking to until I heard the gentleman say something about a complaint as well. Handed the miss her popcorn and turned to the man (who cut in line, by the way).
It was the COD. He handed me a hotdog that was still laying in the foil wrap and gave me a look that threatened lashes and a visit from the Better Business Bureau for my lack of customer service skills. That look! Hmmmmm, what was wrong with it?
Well, laying on the hotdog were several curled pieces of hair. Hair that looked like several strands had been pulled from a brush and discarded on the floor. I glanced at the man again with a questioning look. I had to because I couldn't believe he had the balls to give this thing back to me. This hotdog on its bun with hair obviously on it. And all he could give me was a stern face that promised civil disobedience right there in a full theater if I didn't take care of the problems I OBVIOUSLY caused.
I took the damn dog and walked to the damage bin, suddenly channeling a black woman from the guest list on Jerry Springer.
"You think I'm a damn fool. Like I don't know you dropped this mothafucka on the floor. Like I don't know it's your own damn fault that your hotdog is nasty. Want something for nothing. I ain't stupid. You're the stupid ass that can't hold your weiner. Hmpf!" I muttered under my breath.
Threw the hotdog in the bin, grabbed a fresh, naked one from the hotdog corral, and handed to the COD.
"Here you go. Have a nice day," I faked.
And when he walked away, "Like I can't figure you out by the mustard and ketchup UNDER the damn hair that you dropped the fucking thing."