Putting Off "The Visit"

For days (probably more than a week or so, actually) I've put off seeing my mom. I don't know why. We haven't been fighting or any such lovey doviness. I just don't know why I'm not motivated in seeing her. I think it's the matter of her phone calls and messages I have received from her in the these last few days of absence.

My brother is in Tennessee helping care for my father. He has been for months. And since his migration there, mom has been more like Ma Bell than before. But again, it's her manner of asking to see me. She'll call up to see how I'm doing and suddenly I'm drafted into doing chores for her. I don't mind helping her or doing something for her....ok, lately I mind....but it's under the guise of seeing what's going on.

I know. She's lonely and our relationship is one of eggshells and such. Perhaps this is her way to tell me she misses me. AND I have been very unkind by not showing up for said chores. I'm awful. I'm going. I'm going to get in the shower, wash myself into a glorious state of being, and visit the woman.

You know....we have the weirdest and sometimes most violent passive-aggressive relationship. sigh....No wonder I can't just enjoy love. Eck!