My friend, Beth has a new blog on MySpace and one of her recent blog entries posted this question of me that I have to respond to. I told her I was going to post a response there but as usual, I was getting long-winded.
Anti-God? I'm not Anti-God. I think I'm anti-man in regards of our definition and rules of God. I get angry at God like any other man or woman created. There are such fascinating and beautiful things in religions but I don't trust them. I think that the majority of us distort God and spirituality to fit into nice little definitions that make what we are doing in our lives right and what others are doing in their lives wrong.
I'm anti-hypocrisy. I hate hypocrisy. Sunday Christians.Extreme crusaders. Zealots that claim what they are doing is in the name of God....everything from those people blowing up buildings to those selfish religious leaders sitting on an outrageous gilded set and transmitting to millions of people worldwide asking for money to support their hedonistic lifestyles.
I am definitely not anti-God. I am human. No more nor no less than those who create religions and make rules and then pass judgement on those who say we as humans are not trying hard enough in life and that's why we don't have favor in God's eyes. I am very much a believer in God. Very much a believer in a Creator. I just refuse to pretend I don't get angry or sinful or "blasphemous" with questioning "why me, God?!"
I don't believe in religion. I believe in spirituality. I believe in God. I believe in being accountable for ourselves and to others. I believe in ONE GOD. God is not male. God is not female. God is limitless. God is infinite. God could care less of us if God wanted to. God can change God's mind and completely decided all the "rules" for living written down by man are NO longer what God wants. God is God. Why are there restrictions on what God should be.
Limits belong to man who is finite and will die and return to the soil. Man is bound...by desires and selfishness and feelings of inadequacy. And because of the mortal coil we are all invested in, we corrupt what is truely God.
I think all of my past entries in the Gye Nyame archives have been more or less about my human soul and my flawed perceptions of God, my struggles with what role God plays in my life, and really, a helluva lot of depression and disappointment.
The prefix anti- suggests complete opposite or contrary to a position. In fact, its definition reads opposite, opposition, against.. I am none of these in regards to God. The Great One is a favorite of mine. Made trees, rocks, the oceans just to name a few. I'm all for more of all of those. I find all this beauty indications of a God that exists and I just don't think I'm against any of that.
So, not anti-God. Angry with God at times. Disappointed at myself for not living up to the beauty of what I could be. Pissed at people who can point their damnation fingers at me and propose to tell me what God thinks based on relgions founded by man, supported by man, corrupted by man, edited by man, and generally fucked up by man.
And if I'm wrong....well, I'm willing to face God with my sins exposed and take responsibilty for all of them.