Robot Chicken. Loving this show. Thanks to Tom and a friend of his, we have the first season on disk.
Have you seen this baby? Twisted play with action figures, Barbie dolls, reality shows, famous people, movies and television shows. It's the kind of playing I did with my toys when I was a child. (X-Wing fighters have a special place in my heart).
Shows like this make me miss cable.
What the fuck?! Have you heard about the new Survivor?
I don't watch the show as it is. I watched the first episode of the first season. That's all. I make fun of the show. But, my friends....this is the second worst idea for a reality show (the first would be allowing this idiot decide what happens to a racial diverse group of people living together isolated from the real world).
I hope Probst has something more in mind than just having black on white on Asian on Latino crime. And did you read some of the things Probst said about the show? This one kills me. "Probst says contestants had mixed reactions to the racial divisions." No shit! Really? Could it be that the people who find this disturbing were against it and those willing to pay the $35 membership fee to join the KKK were all for it? Maybe? Could be?
Wow! Mark Burnett must really be hard up for the money (yeah, that was a joke) that he's willing to stress relationships between an already divided world. Stupid fucker!
If you watch this show, don't talk to me. Seriously, I'm not kidding.
Have you ever had a cat that would do the same thing over and over again with only brief respites?
Like claw and scratch at the door incessantly whilst mewing and crying to go outsidet?
Have you ever wanted to cook said cat and eat her so the noise would stop?
I am baaaaaad about posting about my movie viewing, and you all know I watch a lot of movies. (Can I add for the billionth time that I enjoy working where I work? How great is it to watch any freaking movie for free? And as many times as I want? Just putting that out there again.)
So, what do you want to watch? Is it worth your $8-12? Just a few notes on what's out right now.
The Night Listener - I was looking forward to this one. I am a Robin Williams fan. I don't know why. It may have something to do with wanting to fuck him at least once in my life. Yes, I have a teeny little thing for Robin Williams. And he is funny.
But this movie.....I call it "The Little Engine that Could've." So many elements about this film were right on but never went anywhere. The plot was a good one that could have taken the actors to so many places. A boy who was used for the sick sexual pleasure of his parents and their friends has AIDS and writes a book. He was adopted by a woman who keeps him from the dangerous elements of his past. But does he exist?
How can you screw that up? You've got suspense just dripping from that plot. And throw in that this story is based on actual events? People are gonna want to see it. But screw the movie up, indeed. It had Toni Collette and Sandra Oh acting beside Robin Williams. Speaking of Ms. Oh...why introduce a character and do nothing with her? Same with Williams' character's boyfriend. The movie makes this announcement about the main's relationship and puts a spotlight on it frequently. Yes, I understand the reason why. I do but there was no resolution to any of it.
And the movie was sooooooooo slow. Honestly, I wanted to leave so many times but the scenes would build up to these "Don't leave. I promise. Something is going to happen that will leapfrog this film into an amazingly crazy ride." Then nothing would happen. Don't believe me? Em went to the bathroom at one moment and when she returned asked what had happened. I explained that the cop tasered Williams' character. "Great! I missed the most exciting part of the movie!"
So much potential. Honestly, it's not that acting was bad or any of those natural things that make a film suck were there. It just did. I left pissed that I didn't get more from the film.
The Descent/Pulse - The Descent is about a group of splunking women. They have to find their way out of a cave. There are human-like things in the cave. There is death. Blood. Escape. Yada Yada Yada. I watched The Cave months and months ago. Then I watched it again when I walked into The Descent.
Pulse is evidently like Stir of Echoes and White Noise, which I haven't seen either. I do know that elements of Pulse are similar to a Japanese film called Sukima (Crevices). My understanding is that Pulse is based on a Japanese film anyways. Creepy moments and the greyness of the backdrop make it more wicked seeming, which was a bonus. Who wants to think that the dead are just walking around wanting to suck our souls out because they crave what we have? If you want to waste some money, go see Pulse. Otherwise, wait until it's released on DVD. I will say though Japanese writers should be applauded for knowing how to make a scary movie. I'm tired of gore equating scary. No. When you can scare an audience with very little effort on your part and the imagination in overdrive, you've done a good job.
Talladega Nights - If you don't like Will Ferrell, don't go (talking to my lovely Ms. Carrie). This is typical Ferrell stuff, and yes, I laughed. Two of the best scenes in the film are the dinner prayer and the steak knife. "Dear baby Jesus watching your Baby Einstein....." And when someone starts praying to Tom Cruise to use his witchcraft?! You know the night is good! Funniest thing by far about this movie are the people walking out of this film because they are offended. It's helped me past the nights at work sometimes.
World Trade Center - I will admit that when we first received posters for this film, I did not put them up. I didn't know what Oliver Stone was going to do; and I just didn't want to have any part in advertising more friction between people. But, after discovering it was a film about the survival of two men, I decided to watch it. I cried, mostly out of remembering what happened that day. That day, people both lost and found hope. Man showed his beauty and his cruelty. So, I have to say that most of my tears were for the apathy and empathy we have for each other. Otherwise, the film should be given some kudos. Applause goes to Nicholas Cage and Michael Pena for the close quarters they squeezed into for the filming of the duration of the film. Their performances were quite good. I don't think they were as visible in this film then they should have been. The men they portrayed survived and we got a lot of what their families were going through during the film. I know you can't have a two hour film about their experiences when mostly all these men did was wait. Still...I wanted to see Cage and Pena more.
Clerks II - Kevin Smith was ruder and cruder. The Wild Bill scene was fabulous (Jason Mews is the best). But Elias is by far the greatest character Smith has created or perhaps it's just the genius way that Trevor Fehrman carried him off. He is the antithesis of Randall's character and you can see them being best friends until the day they both die. And Pillow Pants is a must know.
Monster House 3D/Barnyard - We are showing 3D movies at our place now and I am so freakin happy because it's in time for the re-release of The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D. Our inaugral 3D is Monster House and I really enjoyed it. The sidekick character is one that you both laugh at and thank God he's not yours.
Now, Barnyard was definitely made for young children. Not really a good film. Two things redeem it and make me want to walk back into the theater to see it at least once more. 1)The special chick. You know how animators draw chicks cute and cuddly and you just want to own one? Well, for some reason....some really messed up reason....there is a baby chick in the film that is 'special'. He doesn't look the same as the other chicks. He doesn't sound the same as the other chicks. And no one seems to notice he's different....except Naomi and Emma who couldn't stop laughing at the poor chick. It's a pee in your pants sort of laugh. One that continues past the point of appropriateness. Yeah. 2) The nosy neighbor and her husband. I swear. I hope I live next to people like these two. I think it would give me a sense of joy knowing that I wake up every day to them. And the best line? Come on. You've seen the commercials: "It's a cow farm There's gonna be cows outside." If you have very young children, take them to this one but really....
One more and then I'm off to bed (not saying that I haven't seen others).
Snakes on a Plane - Really, I didn't want to see this one. Emma wanted to so I took her. It's not an Oscar winner. Absolutely not. And there are far better films out there. Far funnier films out there. But it was funny. It was stupid. It made you squirm. I don't have a penis but even I jump at seeing a huge ass snake chomp down on a man's bed snake. Wanna see it? Go with friends. I don't think this is going to be that cult classic that they were hoping for....or advertised gratuitiously for.
Why, oh why? If you're nineteen years old....which is old enough to vote, drive, be tried in a court of law as an adult, marry, get drafted, and watch a Rated R film.....why does your mother have to call a movie theater to complain on your behalf that you were bothered by rude movie goers?
The title? Yeah, I don't know. The entire time I was checking out my bids, the Miss America theme song was playing in my head. Eh, the strangeness called Nae.
So, I do have a new renter here at Vagabond. Her name is Erin (Its MY life...as uniteresting as it may be!) so please be nice and check her out. I had some good offers but Erin won me over with her Jake story which made me cry.
According to Ms. Erin:
From::Raleigh, North Carolina, United States
I'm a 32 year old SAHM who is looking for some purpose in my life, and somehow keeping a clean house at the same time... well sometimes at least. Yeah, exciting as it may be, thats my life!
Stories about poker, reality TV, and the men in her life (get your mind out of the gutter...talking about husband and child. Geez!)
Been avoiding the dreaded pen and paper....or keyboard and screen. Haven't felt like being honest about life lately. I made a decision months ago without really telling anyone that I am no longer accepting my diagnosis of bipolar. I refuse to be THAT anymore. It's not getting me anything but frustration and prejudice. So, I'm going without.
I can hear it now...."Oh, well the mentally ill never think that they are mentally ill. She's just ignoring the real issues. She's being unrealistic about battling her illness."
No. I've decided I don't want to be sick. I'm being stubborn about it. I'm refusing to let my lows or my highs be anything other than Naomi living life as normally as she would if she weren't diagnosed. Why not? I shortchange myself with this shitty thinking that I'm feeling one way because it's me out of control and I'll have a swing to another emotion soon. No more. This is who I am. And honestly, addressing day to day living like this has made life easier.
So, I'm not sick. I haven't had medication in MONTHS. I've been mad. I've been sad. I've been happy. But I give it up as experiencing things that make me mad, sad, happy, etc. It's working for me.
Taking mental illness out of the equation leaves the self-esteem to work on. Harder task for me. i don't like the way I look so I'm trying to force me to confront and reconcile some things. Like what can I work on? What is inherently me? And I have to just face facts that my face will not suddenly turn into Nadja Bjorlin's overnight.
I've been trying to avoid what is also going on in my head and heart, thus I avoid writing about that. I'm tired of trying to resolve what seems fruitless.....how it ended between myself and The One. It's a big source of hurt that unfortunately, has set in stone some formidable rules in my life. And because of my part and his....I'm going to be one heartless bitch for the rest of my life when it comes to relationships. I wish the best and will always give encouragement when I can for others but for myself.....no more. Nope. I'll fuck you but I won't love you.
Well, I'm off to bed.
Mercy, please. I am so fucking horny. I don't know how many times I have masturbated in last week, but my goodness....I so desparately need a partner. Seriously, I would be freaking Helen Keller if the little tale that masturbation makes you blind were true.
And the men I see every day? Not helping. Today, I was talking to this guy I find extremely attractive and he's a friend and all I could think about is making bite marks and hickeys on his neck and other places. Imagined him dripping sweat onto my body as he looms over me. AGGGHHHHHH! Watched his lips A LOT during our conversation. Goodness! EH!
Not helping myself reading erotica. Have you been to literotica.com? I may have mentioned it before. I also keep thinking of The One. Every single time I have an orgasm, he pops into my head. Sneaky bastard!
And the dreams!!!! So wrong to have an imagination like I do. An overactive imagination. My head is a freaking menu of porn right now.
So, I'm hot and bothered. Cursed, really.
How have you been?
My COD is a group. Those disgusting women who decide to venture into public and infect us all with their presence. This one is a few days old but a good one.
On Thursday I was walking back towards the lobby when I heard one woman say to another as they were exiting the bathroom, "Was it overflowing?"
My ears perked up and next heard, "Yeah, they were all overflowing."
Male companion: "Geez, we can't take you anywhere."
Of course, I stopped and turned back to them. "Excuse me. Is the toilet overflowing," which was an obvious question which got an obvious answer of 'yes.'
I walked in and MY GOD! Four toilets. FOUR. They were filled with toilet paper and stuff. But the one toilet that was the worst was obviously clogged with a feminine product, toilet paper, and such. And the nits that had used these toilets had tried to flush them. Ask yourself this: Do I enjoy cleaning up after a clogged, overflowing toilet? Now, for a little math. MULTIPLY THAT FOUR TIMES!
I spent at least half an hour mopping up the floor, which was covered in half-inch water THROUGHOUT MOST of the restroom. I used two buckets and two mops so that I could make it as sanitary as possible.
We used the plunger and got three of the toilets in working order again; but that damn fourth one....the ugly fourth one was not going to cooperate.
Let me tell you a story, boys and girls. A true story....Ready?
A long time ago in a land not so far away, before automation and in the period of superstition and fears, there lived a primitive people. They believed that women menstruating were special women. These women could kill crops. They could make a pregnant woman abort her unborn child. They were cursed women. So in fear of the hocus pocus power of the menses, they locked menstruating women in sheds away from the general public until the bleeding was over.
This is how it went for years and years until the general public was better educated on the menstrual cycle. But to this day, tales of what happens or could happen during menstruation are still passed on. Ask a woman to tell you a wives' tale or two concering the ol' period and you may just hear one or two.
But the one thing that is true...ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TRUE.....so much true that it is written on EVERY package of maxi/mini pads.....DO NOT FLUSH THE SANITARY NAPKIN DOWN THE TOILET!
I never realized how much wisdom there was in locking women away during their flows.
Birthday Girl is sitting rows above me with her friends. When did these last eleven years run away from me? To watch her inter interaction with boys and girls her age? Wow! THIS is life. The coming of age...hers somewhere between childhood and adolescence and trying to find that comfortable space among turbulent emotions and social pressure. Remember it? I do and now I am mother to it. Glad to be here though.
You are the greatest joy in my life. With your sense of humor, your creativity, and your intelligence, my day is never lacking in excitement. So, thank you for every day for the last eleven years.
I wish I could give you more than a couple of store-bought gifts. The days you are lonely for a brother or sister. The questions you have about Jon. I want to ease those discomforts. But always know that those things lacking in your life such as a dad or siblings do NOT mean you are lacking in yourself. You are an amazing girl and your evolution into an amazing woman will happen because of all that defines you as Emmaline. And I am truely excited to be part of that evolution.
You have courage at eleven that I wish I had at such a young age. You know who you are at this moment. You're not afraid to walk out into the world among the rest of us in all your goofiness....all your opinionated glory....all your being. I admire that strength to not care what others think of you. While many of us live as muted versions of ourselves, you live loudly and brightly as Emmaline.
You are still developing and growing and no doubt, will change again and again until adulthood; but I am honored to be your mother and part of your life.
Thank you, my Pie for your joy and love and view of the world. Happy birthday, Em! And I look forward to another year as your mother.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR PIE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!