On This Day, I Say Thanks.

Honestly, this is probably one of the best holidays invented. I have so much and I'm not going to spend the next 2000+ words giving an elementary essay on what I'm thankful.Thanksgiving has become less traditional for me because my family doesn't celebrate it like it did before, but it explodes exponentially with the heart of what holidays should be. I mourn a bit over the loss of my childhood thanksgiving traditions; but as I get older, some of those traditions mean little more than mindless repeating instead of soul-felt living of what the holiday means. I do take for granted what I have and achieved as well as have been given. I become more of a curmudgeon each day but I try to remember what is in my life. I just want to give a little thanks for what I have.

I have Emmaline. She, I couldn't take for granted. The beauty and brilliance that is my child. Not only am I thankful for her but I hope that I am giving her foundations to make her a strong, confident, assertive woman that gives to this world.

I have my job that I work my ass off for every day, often without pay. A year and a half ago I didn't have one. It was tougher than it is now. I've been without a home. I've been without food. I've been without lights. I've lacked and with a child, that's a tough matter. I am thankful for my job and for trying every day to keep it.

I have my family. Despite the mountainous strain I've given them and received from them, I am in a much better place with them now especially my mother. Many things have not been resolved, but I've been trying to hold less against each of them individually. Basically, I'm trying to live as a grown-up and not an adolescent. I am extremely happy that I didn't give up on them and they've given me the same opportunity.

I have my friends. I've grown up with some of you. I've never met others. Some I fell in love with. Relatives are family you were born or married to. Friends are family you choose. Thank you for being mine.

I've been without so much. I've been desparate. I've been lonely. I've been sad and suicidal.But, I had a microscopic, sand-size glimmer of hope that helped me survive. Above all else, I'm thankful for that. I pray that each of you always maintain that bit in your soul. From hope sprouts all else. Happy Thanksgiving.