Light and Darkness

I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

Penny on the Train Track by Ben Kweller

I'm just a penny on the train track
Waitin' for my judgement day
Come on baby girl let me see those legs
Before I get flattened away

I wait
Yeah, I wait
For something good, for something great

Stoppin' in somebody's old home town
Gotta get that midnight meal
If you can't get behind your own life
Get behind the driving wheel

And go, just go
Find a place that you don't know

Ran into a friend just the other night
Got a badge, he's a local cop
Haven't seen that boy in over seven years
Since out of high school I dropped

I see, I see
All the things that I should be

Oh baby dance with me!

Even lucky man has a bad day
And pretty girl has a scar
After that train comes and takes me away
Pick up that guitar

And play, just play
Play that rock and roll for me

He's in the yard just washin' his car
Thinkin' 'bout his pretty wife
Makin' lemonade with the kitchen aid
Makin' him a perfect life

And it's grim, so dim
When you wish that you were just like him

I'm just a penny on the train track
Waitin' for my judgement day
Come on baby girl let me see those legs
Before I get flattened away

I wait, I wait
For something good, for something great

And I try, oh I try
I can't stop, I don't know why

New Photos

Check out some of my trip photos on an unframed 5x7.

"We Gangsta"

Yeah, they're dorks. I ask for a cute picture with their heads touching. I get gang signs and faces. They wouldn't stop. If one did, the other would throw up bent fingers. If I got that one to smile nice, the others would stick out their tongues. I had to make do. Goofs!

The Pie

Emma has forbade me to post pictures of her in the Moon Jump. I'm allowed a couple but I'm sneaking this one in too. She's a poopoo head.

Jump! Jump!

I hate that I cut off Linkin's head in this photo but instead of waiting for things to happen, I did what I could. I just kept taking photos. It's a fun shot and not so bad considering I'm using a little Vivitar. My goal is to get a big girl camera...a nice digital SLR. Anyhoo....I like this one.

The G Boys

These two young boys are absolute characters. Zavier loves cars and has freakishly amazing knowledge on them. Also, his reading ability is shocking. He and Emma....Wow! Linkin...what can I say about this boy. He's got a wicked sense of humor and loves animals. Funniest thing about him is his love of cot. Cot refers to anything like cotton balls or the lint one finds in the dryer. He balls it up and carries it around. That and Play-Do. Both make me laugh.

Air Zavier

Linkin Jumps

This is the face of a kid having a lot of fun.

A Skewed View

Funhouse Mirrors

The bouncing motion of the Moon Jump made it impossible to get unblemished pictures which makes these great. Gives the feeling that I have a special lens on the camera.

My God, How You've Grown!

The trip to the ol' Volunteer State was nice. The highlight of the trip was seeing my family including my brother, Shawn who actually spent quite a bit of time hanging out with the clan. Shawn is very much like the rest of us (ie....our mother). He likes to do what he wants when he wants. Nothing holding him back. He epitomizes the social butterfly. And amazingly, I was reminded of exactly how old my siblings and I have become. My brother is going to be thirty-one this year (Jenn will be 32 and I will be a ripe age of 35).

I also got the chance to visit my dad's grave. That was a hard moment. Before this trip I hadn't been back to Memphis since his funeral. I didn't go back for his interment for several reasons. Honestly, it's a strange feeling to see a marker on the space where my father's body lies beneath.

I am a rational person. I'm not an idiot nor do I lack the IQ points. But I actually begin to feel panicky when thinking of someone being buried beneath feet of sod. I worry that they're not dead and they're clawing at the coffin lid scared to shit that they've been buried alive. I know. Not really a probability that that happens. Makes no sense but it's there in my head.

I cried like a baby at the site. All those feelings of guilt for not being a better daughter. For not making things right before he died. I knew he was going to die last year. I felt it in my bones. I was going to try and make amends with him but he died before my scheduled trip to see him. Regret. And naively I thought seeing his stone would assuage me. All this guilt. Regret.  Nope. At least not this time. Guess it's still too fresh. Either that or I am truely way too Catholic for my own good.

sigh.....Love you, Pop.

Highlights were seeing the boys. Zavier, the older of the two, celebrated his sixth birthday (reason for the trip). Jenn (the sis) rented a moon jump. Damn, I keep forgetting how much fun those things are. I got some silly pictures of the kids in it. May post some on an unframed 5x7.

Ok. So, I am the cool aunt. By default because I'm the only aunt but really I am. A couple of years ago on a visit to TN I introduced the boys to the best toy a kid could have: the cape made from a blanket or towel. This year I bought them Spiderman and Venom costumes. On Saturday, they put those bad boys on and went out to the Moon Jump. The other kids wanted to play too so my sister dug out all the previous Halloween costumes. Moon Jump. Costumes. Kids coked up on sugar. Makes for a fun day. Everyone, no matter the age, should have a birthday party like that one.

Before everyone arrived and when it was just family, I caught some snaps of the cousins. Gang signs and all, the three of them are too damn cute.

*BANG!* And They're Off.

Blockbuster Season, which is generally the summertime, has begun in the movie industry. Actually it began very early this year, and I guarantee that I will be one tired person when by time it's all said and done. I have missed the opportunity to review a few films but will start my season with Grindhouse, which I watched before leaving on my trip to Tennessee.

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez collaborated on this one. It's billed as two full-length features with an intermission bridging them. The first is zombie-like film called "Planet Terror" and the second is "Death Proof."

Don't go to this film taking it seriously. The story lines are not meant to be Oscar winners; they are trashy, an homage to the 70s B movies. Yes, those ones that filled your screen on Saturday and Sunday afternoons on one of the only four channels your TV received before satellite and DVRs became the average Joe's basic channels. The actors are deadpan serious in the delivery of purposefully cheesy dialogue, the shots are blocked with novice grace, and the edits are grotesquely obvious. All to the effect of brilliance!

I loved this film. I think the true connoisseurs of Grindhouse will be my generation and perhaps, my parents' as well. If you are a child of the 70s and 80s, you are going to understand why this film is going to be a favorite of this year.

"Death Proof," I warn you, does drag a bit in the beginning. But it does remind you of every slow starting cheerleader-slashing film. Once it gets going, it doesn't stop until it's over. Funny, but it reminded me of the 70s horror flick "The Car," which revolves around a driverless car that terrorizes a town. Most people have enjoyed "Planet Terror" more but Kurt Russell does such a great job that I just can't ignore the fun that is Stuntman Mike.

You may want to go to the bathroom or get your refills during the "intermission" but don't. The trailers that tie the two movies together are just as worthy of any reviewer's write-up as the main features. And count the cameo appearances.

The few moments that made me cringe are tied in directly to seeing Tarantino on screen. I just can't watch that guy at all. Great filmmaker. Obviously talented and smart. But his Alfred Hitchcock moments onscreen? Eh. His monologues in every film he appears are supposed to be quick quips that deliver  punchy little bits of dialogue that generate laughter and head nodding but to me they become long diatribes where I watch his eyes to try and figure out what the hell he's looking at while really trying to understand what the fuck he is saying. I want him to be the Wizard of Oz....put him behind the curtain and let the magic happen. He doesn't need to be revealed.

Grindhouse, it's a good one. Worthy of the shelf space you are going to give its DVD.

Harvey says, "Happy Pooka Day!"

Thanks to Candy, a few folks here in Pensacola including myself are now rabbits for the holidays. So, in good form I wish you a happy Easter; and if you give me a moment I might be able to crap out a golden egg.....oh wait, that's the Golden Goose.

Anywhoo, Happy Easter all! I'll be back from Memphis in a few days!

And if you don't get the reference to Jimmy Stewart, you are dead to me.

State of Being

I try not to talk about my j-o-b here because I don't want to get into too much trouble. I try to be professional about it all because I do like it; I want to accomplish as much as I can with the company; and well, there are just things that I shouldn't discuss here unless I want to set myself up to get fired. But I do have to say this because it's just bothering the hell outta me: how dare someone point the finger at me questioning my work performance. FUCK YOU! Yes. A bit unprofessional in response but I'm saying that one should be thanking God that I'm letting it go this easy because inside my head, I'm doing a lot of things that would prove one right about how unprofessional if not just plain ol' scary I can truly be.

I'm going to be so nice about this because seriously, I shouldn't worry about what one thinks of me. But, believe me….my friends know exactly how I feel about all this, which involves a lot of unflattering and derogatory terms that any cretin can use. But I will go no further because I'm better than that. I can express myself without being ugly or unkind. I'll stop with being satisfied that I expressed my unhappiness with all this. I am done with it all.

CUNT!

Ok, so one got out but that's all. No more.

New Toy to Play With

I have discovered that I can write an entry with the use of Word 2007. How freaking great is that?! I'll probably discover some dreaded issue that will cause me to cuss in a horrible British accent (has to be British because isn't that what every person tries to imitate but does a crappy job of it?) According to Everything Typepad, I should be able to do the following using Word:

• Automatic Image Uploading – Images you've inserted in your post are uploaded to your account and inserted into the post automatically.  Any charts, Office SmartArt and shapes you include in your post are automatically converted to images, uploaded and inserted to the post.
• Post Categorization – Word displays a list of your blog's categories to pick from before you publish.
• Publish as Draft – Not sure the post is ready for prime time?  You can publish your post as a draft to upload it to TypePad without making it public.
• Publish to Multiple Blogs – The Word Blog Tool makes cross posting easy – you can publish a post to as many blogs as you'd like without having to copy and paste between blogs or accounts.  Simply pick another blog and click "Publish".

I am a complete dork that I find this exciting. Just ignore the geekiness that sometimes creeps out. I would probably be in trouble if I knew how to do other nifty things to a webpage…..like create one. Seriously, this internet thing? Thank you Al Gore for inventing it.