I have a boss (henceforth, will be known as SGM) that I absolutely enjoy my interactions with him. He's inspiring and honest, both qualities that I value. Each time we end a conversation, I feel ready to take on the world...at least parts of it.
My most recent chat with SGM boiled down to this: Finding out what I want and obtaining it. I don't have difficulty knowing what I want. I've never been indecisive. I've been a pussy when it comes to obtaining it or putting my want over the wants of others. I appear indecisive because I won't follow thru with my desires; but I always know what I want. Just can't say it aloud.
Not any more. It's not doing me any good. There shouldn't be any harm in declaring wants. They're my wants so I should be permitted to screaming them aloud if I choose to. Another's response shouldn't concern me. Their response is not under my control and it doesn't change what I feel. So, here it goes.
- I want to be married.
- I want more children.
- I want to publish my words and be successful as a writer.
- I want to be financially stable...Hell, I want to be wealthy.
- I want to be in a beautiful body.
- I want to travel across the globe time and time again.
- I want a clean house.
- I want to go to back to school and graduate with honors.
- I want to live near my closest friends.
- I want my Angus back in my life.
- I want Jon to be responsible and answer the questions Emma has about and for him.
- I want to meet my biological father and his children
- I want to feel comfortable being Filipino.
- I want to feel comfortable being White.
- I want to feel comfortable being Naomi.
- I want to be confident.
- I want to be beautiful.
- I want to be desired.
- I want to be that woman you have to steal a second glance from because she takes your breath away.
- I want sex.
- I want my Pop to show me a sign that he loves me and understands me and is around.
- I want to reconcile with every person I've wronged or has wronged me.
- I want to be able to write down the music I hear in my head.
- I want the courage to live without fear of making others unhappy or feeling selfish.
- I want freedom from these horrible binds I've tighten around myself to keep from living out loud as me.