TV to Big Screen
- Justice League of America
- Sex and the City
- The Incredible Hulk
- Magnum PI
- Fraggle Rock: The Movie
This just pisses me off. Yes, I go films that do this. And yes, I'm sometimes pleasantly surprised. I was upset with the whole Transformers movie when it was announced that it was going to be made. I was happy with the end result. Do you know there's a Transformers 2 scheduled for filming? Like we didn't anticipate that. Even though films can do well like the aforementioned Transformers, I'm still upset.
I don't mind books to film as much. But the remake thing is going beyond "Oh, that was a good idea to remake that film." Let's look at what's playing now.
3:10 to Yuma - Originally starred Glenn Ford in 1957. I have heard great things about the remake but again, why? Couldn't a great western have been created in the minds of the Hollywood genius? Or has Hollywood genius become an oxymoron.
The Heartbreak Kid - Starred Charles Grodin and Sybil Shepherd in 1972. If you don't like Ben Stiller (and there are those of you out there), don't go.
Halloween - Its the same but different than the Halloween of 1978 starring our beloved Jamie Lee Curtis. Just like Texas Chainsaw Massacre..."I swear that despite the same plot line, same characters and same overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, it's a different film."
Hairspray - Ok. I really enjoyed this film. But a remake? Rikki Lake in John Waters' cult classic still warms my heart. Hairspray falls into another category of lazy writing amongst the creative folks of the world. Movie to musical/musician's work to musical. Did you know there's a fucking musical called LEGALLY BLOND?! What in Mount Olympus were the Muses thinking?
Underdog - Are you fucking serious? I hated the cartoon as a kid so why the fuck would I drag my ass to this piece of atrocious shit? I'm sorry. I can't do it. I won't do. My kid wanted to see it because of Jason Lee.
The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D - I like the movie but a re-release every year is a bit ridiculous. Disney is subliminally trying to modify our brain patterns with this Tim Burton gem. Don't they understand the concept of absence and the fonder heart? Hey Disney folks, I have an idea for you.....fund a channel on cable or satellite television and broadcast the film 24hours daily. Was the revenue worth it last year to release it in 3D? I think I may have to look into that.
I want more from my film makers. Stop the remakes. Stop the big screen adaptations of the small screen shows. Stop doing an English version of foreign films, which is yet another subject that pisses me off. Seriously, movie goers...are you that fucking lazy or close-minded that you can't watch a foreign film once in a while. We are not the center of the movie making universe. Incidentally, Bollywood is much more productive than Hollywood.
Eh, I'm done....for now. But if they bring Joanie Love Chachi to the big screen, I'm driving to LA in a rented monster truck, hitching the Hollywood sign up to a wench, and bringing that bad boy down myself. Film makers, you have been warned.