Laughter is good for the soul. Especially for the woman at the 3:14 marker.
Teenagers are so secretive and unforgiving. I know both described me as a teen. Emmaline's tone and attitude are just plain ol' mean. I stand with mouth agape on a daily basis as response to her world views. And then I silently ask for forgiveness of my mother for the shit that I did as a teen.
I am not saying that I give permission to my parents for the childhood issues I am still resolving. Those are separate from what I'm writing about now. But the pure lazy, unresponsive bullshit I put out there. My eyes are wide open now.
Em's tone, even in her exhales, are argumentative. I ask a simple question about her gym clothes, and I get attitude and exhales. Ask her to take the dog out and she goes completely silent and walks out of the room as if neither the dog nor I exist. Remind her to get in the shower so that she's not late for school? Eyes roll, feet stomp to the bathroom, and slamming doors herald her exit.
I am trying to remain calm. I am trying to abandon my impulse to argue. I am trying to remember that she's probably not aware that she's being a butt. Trying. Really, really trying.
Beth and I were talking about our kids the other day. Michael is only three months older than Em. He's been afflicted as well with the Teenage Angst Pox. I told her that all teenagers are little bitches and bastards. They have no regard for anyone outside their friend circles. Normal development. They cling to their friends more at this stage of their lives. I know I did. I felt only my friends could understand or comfort me. The only exception to the rule were the older male figures (generally in their twenties) that I crushed on. I told Beth that teens don't really understand that they are doing this. Blissfully ignorant that they are little butts. Part of the game of owning a teen. It's just our job as parents to still morally guide them, love them, and do as little harm as possible.
And speaking to Sami yesterday, I was reminded of my child's toddler tantrums. I said that I would rather take care of one of those instead of dealing with a teenage tantrum. As a toddler, the tantrums are obnoxiously loud and inconveniently embarrassing but at the end of it, she'll hug you and all's forgiven. As a teenager, the effect of a tantrum is the same but at the end...well, that's the rub. There is no end, at least not until adulthood. She'll not forgive you until she has a teenager of her own.
Speaking of which...why do parents curse you with that "You'll get a teenager that's worse than you" voodoo? Seriously, that's just plain ol' mean....oh wait, never mind.
For my birthday this year, Emmaline and I are thinking about going to an Ethiopian restaurant. Sooooo, I did an internet search and received a few names and locations. Via The Insider Pages, I got my favorite person of the day....Stephen H.
Stephen has eight pages of recommendations for places around Dallas and its surrounding cities. Some just stand out, so much so that I peed my pants laughing too much from reading either the review or the title of the review. Below are our favorites. Now, I know that Emma and I may be the only people in the universe who find reading the dictionary funny or laugh hysterically from grammatical errors. If we are, then so be it! It makes our days.
Ghion Ethiopian Restaurant 10/25/05: 'Very good food, that is if you are Ethiopian?' Well, I had never tried that type of food before in my life. I gotta tell you that it is very different from anything that you have ever tried in you life. You gotta try it at least once in your life, but I must tell you that it is different?
Note Stephen's use of interrogative sentences in the tagline as well as in closing the review. If you read many of his reviews, he likes the question mark. Go back and read the paragraph again as it is written.
Computer Rescue 10/25/05: 'Excellent techs all the way! Great w/ their hands and minds!' This is the place that you want to go when you exhausted all your brain cells trying to fix you electronic device. They will fix it for sure. They are fairly priced and very cordially honest.
Great with their hands and minds? Vulcan handjobs for the computer illiterate?
Arapaho Animal Clinic Hospitals 10/25/05: 'They will suffice if you don't really care about your animal.' I have been going to this animal hospital for many years, until one of their best veteranarians left. I have since been going to another location where she started her own business at. This clinic has fair prices and all, but the doctors are not that very gentle w/ the animals. At least not to my standards.
I hate you, damn dog! I'll pay for your vet bills but don't expect quality care!
Campbell Road Mobile 10/23/05: 'A+ all the way if you are bright!' This is the best place to bring your car. You will not be disappointed. You can trust these people and get the best price overall for your repairs. I love them.
For those of us that are stupid, Campbell Road Mobile just might not be for us.
Mc Donald's 10/23/05: 'Excellent when you are drunk !' I gotta tell you that this place is great when you are trashed! Very clean business and always consistent quality. I have eaten there many times and it is good! You will not be disappointed!
Oh wait! Stephen hasn't finished reviewing restaurants for 10.23.05. Evidently, he was really trashed and really hungry on that date:
Jack In The Box 10/23/05: 'A+ all the way if you are wasted!' This restaraunt is great if you are hungrrrrrrrrrrry and wasted! This is a place to go and is always open! This is a great place to go! You will not regret it if you are hungry and it is late!
And our Hooters for Rex award per Stephen's five-star review:
Hank's Animal Hospital 10/22/05: 'Best Animal Hospital in North Dallas and the vet is a babe!' I have followed Yvonne Hanks to her new Animal Hospital in Plano, TX. She to be a veteranarian in Richardson,TX at another Animal Hospital. She is always very sweet and excellent w/ animals. She had taken care of my old cat for years and truly loves animals. She has the magic touch and very fair prices. Hanks Animal Hospital is a very clean and professional business.
PROS: She is a babe!
In celebratory recognition of our election year, my Fresh Fish is a woman who takes our government seriously.
While working on Monday, a woman in her late forties or early fifties passed by me. I noticed the flair on her jacket proudly displaying her support for McCain and Palin. She was moving quickly and I was surprised that she was aware of me. It seemed to me that she was in a hurry to get to her destination.
In mid-stream of her power walking, she stopped and swiveled her body towards me whilst reaching into her bag. "Would you wear it if I give you one?"
With a smile I replied, "I don't support McCain and Palin."
"Obama is scary," she retorts with what appears to be hurt feelings from my response.
"Why?" I was ready for a good discussion. I had nothing else to do at the moment and was determined to hear good reason for anyone to support these Republican ne'er-do-wells.
"He'll raise our taxes. We don't need all those social programs...."
I wanted to stop her there because I'm a firm believer in our country's social programs. Given the number of homeless vets living with mental and physical illness. Given the number of children who rely on those two free meals at school every day because they'll be hungry throughout the night. Given the number single parents like myself who work ten to twelve hours a day and still fall below the poverty line. I wanted to stop her but wasn't even able to breath before she continued.
"...we don't want those socialist programs in our country. That's communism!"
And then she quickly walked on.
Probably the most intriguing thing about this conversation is that this Republican immediately assumed that because I wasn't voting for McCain, I would be voting for Obama. Funny. Barack has them running scared. And even better, instead of taking advantage of the moment to sway me to her side...the dark side...she takes the low road and spouts out crap about the leading opposing candidate. No beautifully melodic promises of a Utopian future promised by McCain. Oh no. She declares Obama a communist. Priceless.
Folks, are you getting tired of these? It is taking much longer than I thought it. Neglect of my poor Vagabond. I do have to say that I have to skim over a few of these topics because I'm trying to not paint a horrible picture of certain people in my life anymore. Namely my family. We've come a long way in the last few years and I don't want to go into the ugly, ugly details on some of these things, namely this topic. Question: Have I been in a fist fight? Unfortunately, yes. Not proud moments in my life. Let's just say that my brother and I hugged it out and we're good now.
If the question asked if I had been in verbal altercations, I could list a number of heated arguements I've had with strangers. Once, I stepped in-between a man who was acosting an elderly woman at a pet store. My friend, her children, Em and I had gone to Petco in Memphis when Emmy was three or four years old. A man walked into the store with his two dogs and his woman. We were standing at a display when a large rottweiler violently slid across the floor into an endcap. Of course, we looked up to see what was happening. I mean, what the hell. A few moments later, this woman who was in her 60s was telling the man that he couldn't kick his dog like that. She said that she was going to call the ASPCA to report him. One moment he was denying that he had done any harm to the dog, the next he was explaining that he disciplined his animals that way. Both of their tones got louder when the man started yelling at the woman that she would never had said anything if he was white. More yelling. More accusations. My group walked away because we didn't know what the hell was going on and the only thing we had witnessed was the dog sliding into the endcap.
Now, don't take this as my being passive. I was hot already listening to this conversation but did not want to interfer. The woman never said anything racial. It was never a topic until the man brought it up. She had witnessed the man kick the dog, evidently. We had seen the man come in with his group. I recall seeing the woman with her party near him. Yes, I was angry at the man's accusations because they were a ridiculous arguement and had no basis on what the woman was angry about, and she even tried to say so. But I stayed out of it for the time being.
When my group was finished in the store, we headed to the check-out counters. The man was standing in line. His second dog was also a rottweiler and was still a puppy that he had placed in the cart. His woman was standing beside him. The larger dog, which weighed a good 100 pounds or so, was there beside him also. Because the line was smaller, we got into that line. He looked at me, I commented that his dogs were beautiful and asked if they were friendly, and he said no. We moved. With three young children who like to pet dogs in tow, we moved.
The man paid for his items and left. I was second in line and the elderly woman was two people behind me. She was talking to her party about the incident when the man returned. He walked up to the woman and started apologizing. Wow, I thought. Great gesture. Making peace. Misunderstandings. etc etc etc. He then said something about how he was sorry but reiterated that the woman would have never said anything if he was white. The woman, of course, reacted with "that's not true. You kicked your dog. You can't do that. That's animal cruelty....blah blah." Then the man started yelling and he physically put himself up on the woman. His chest was against the woman as a threat and a dare to continue.
At this point, I yelled "EXCUSE ME!." No response so I yelled it again. When I got his attention, I started yelling at him that race had no issue, animal abuse, etc. This man left the woman and came went around the people and tried to nose up against me. He was almost a foot shorter than me. I remember looking down at him in absolute silence and thinking "what an asshole." I stood there glaring at him and said nothing while he ranted and called me a rascist. Then he walked out.
When we left, there was a truck double parked by the door. The dogs were in the back and the man yelled out the window at me. "BITCH!" Then he sped away.
I could not let that man physically intimidate another person, let alone a senior citizen. I would have physically fought the fucker if it came to that. Luckily, the ass was all mouth and had nothing more to say when a 5'9" woman stared down into his angry face. Perhaps I should have more fear but when other people are in trouble, I get a bit defensive. I only want to protect and am willing to physically fight if need be. I don't like the feeling because I grew up with physical violence. I use a lot of effort to fight the anger inside, which only wants to get out physically....perhaps I need to take a boxing class or something. But violence? Eh, yuck!
I should be getting ready for work. I am exhausted and feel like a coat of grime is on my internal works. Yesterday I woke with a sore throat and a headache. Slight improvement but still feeling like a ball of blah.
I am boring lately. I hate that. In my life, I've never thought that my existence and the core of my personality as boring; but it appears that is what I've become. I truely need to reverse this. I need some excitement. An illicit love affair. Bank robbery. A discovery of an ancient Mayan ruin in the field where Jolie takes a crap. Something.
The job is coming along. I have to say that I'm a bit bored. My favorite thing to do is decorate the cakes. The only way to improve is to do them so I jump at the opportunity to decorate one. The pictures I'm not so bad at creating. My writing sucks. The messages look like I have jittery hands because I've been detoxing and decided to use frosting to journal about the experience. I give kudos to those that have written anything with frosting and it looks beautiful. I can say I have improved. Where I started from? Well, that was scary.
Other than decorating? I like a few other tasks that have to do with making the cookies like rolling dough....by hand. Manually repetitive tasks always manage to calm me down and give me a great amount of satisfaction. It gives me time to think. Why I like crocheting and swimming laps. But I am bit bored. I can't help but like the hours and the pay. I'll just stick with a bit of boredom and try to liven the rest of my life up.
I entered a litte essay contest (1000 words or less) with a verrrry nice monetary prize. Won't say more right now but I think the completed essay was simple and flowed. We'll see. I'm trying to build my courage in submitting. If I can't do that, I'll just flounder about with my writing.
Speaking of which, I am floundering in my writing. I started a story weeks ago and have done nothing with it. The self-doubt set in again....what the fuck is wrong with me?! I just need to write. Em asks about it and then shakes her head when I tell her that I haven't written anything. Yes, I'm hanging my head in shame. I'm not giving up yet. I'm not. This is far too important to me. I need to get the bloody book out of my soul. I need this sense of accomplishment.
Well, I'm off to shower. Anyone want to join? hahaha kidding (maybe) Folks, one last thing....I swear if I die without ever having sex with another consenting adult, I will be very pissed!
My friend Beth (Welcome to My Pensieve) is now housed here at Vagabond. Go ahead and click over and read. I'm importing (Rather, I'm old schooling it with copy and paste.) her posts from MySpace so entries will be be posting to her archives. Say hello.
I am depressed. I have a good feeling it's associated with the hurtful interaction Emmaline and I had yesterday. Good god, I hate those. Probably the only thing worse than the painful exchanges between parent and child would be the absence of one from the other's life. Small blessings for the rows between us, right.
I take them hard. Sometimes...I lie....all the times, I have horrible flashbacks to the relationship between myself and my parents. Thus, a day or so to recover. I feel like I'm covered in bad parent viscous after. eh. eh. eh.
I had a nightmare last night surrounding a male figure. Something to do with dead and evil and loss and all that rot. Could be the influence of the movie we watched yesterday, Quarantine upon my dreams but movies rarely do that to me.
I am glad my child is growing up but I do miss the days when she was so glad to throw her arms around me and hug me like I was the most precious thing in the world. Now? I feel like I'm a porcupine and she's a cactus, and we're walking barefooted on hot broken glass in a three by five room with no air conditioner, window, or door.
I feel blue.
Today would have been my Pop's fifty-seventh birthday. As I approach forty, I still shake my head to think he was still such a young man when he passed. When he was alive and on his birthday, I would wish him a birthday in reverse....Just switching the numbers of his age.
Papa, you're family misses and remembers you daily. Happy 75th birthday! Em and I love you.