Light and Darkness

Because we Asians all look the same.

Emmaline found this site and turned me onto it. With registration at AllLookSame being as simple as a username and some demographics (no name, address or such), you can take a number of multiple-choice tests. Food, architecture, art and faces, you choose whether the picture is Japanese, Chinese or Korean. It is not easy. Far from it, proving that we can never assume that we know the nationality of any person we see in our world and the influence of culture upon culture is a beautiful thing.

The Unthinkable

I don't like to suppose about past decisions. I try not to regret. It undos any living I surely have survived. It may undo my child's life or a friendship that means so much to me now. But right now....I wish I hadn't loved. I feel ugly and harmful. I feel like a pariah and pushy. I feel so much worse about my existence because I don't think I know how to love. I feel poisonous and wish only to disappear and never have anyone see me.

So many times my life was almost extinguished. At this moment...I wish someone had been

I didn't mean to.

If you get through this without laughing, you are so much better than I.

Tied Hands

I have cried for someone I care about so much the last few days.

Only thing I can do to ease sadness and pain is pray you have others to comfort you. Only dreams and thoughts attack me of your sadness. My hope that it gets easier over time and that the sadness will become less and less for you. I wish I could do more. I truely do.

Christmas 2008 Reflection

As the year winds down with its beginning, Christmas Day, I hope that each of you sit comfortably in your homes with happiness in your life. I know the year may not have been kind. I know that you have experienced sadness, regret, loss and emptiness. But, I hope that you still have experienced hope, love, joy, and kindness. I hope that these gifts are yours today and the years to come. I also give you the gift of my time. Should you need someone to just be so that you can cry, laugh, scream or talk....don't hesitate to pick me. I'd consider it an honor to be your ears, shoulders and sounding board.

Merry Christmas! May your days be filled with love, family, and friends!

Tis Another Season

Christmas will be here in only a couple of days. This year is much better than it has been in a couple of years now. In retrospect, leaving the theater (against my will, of course) has been a better path for Emmaline and me. Financially, more reward in the current job.

Pie and I spent the day out shopping. It's amazing the dents one can make trying to provide a merry christmas. Nothing too extreme like I know most of this nation is doing. Extreme shopping with extreme debt. I am not participating in that. To be frank, though, I haven't been frugal.

Generally, we celebrate Taxmas but my child has been turning into a holiday curmudgeon. I have to avoid that at all costs. To help her get in the mood, I bought a christmas tree in November. I also gave the child money to buy me a few gifts. Seems silly, paying for my own gifts. But it was more about Em getting into the spirit. And had she a father, I would take her shopping and give her money to buy presents for him. Same difference.

She wrapped as I waited in my bedroom. I think she enjoyed the process. And though we love Taxmas....christmas presents on christmas day is just like no other.

I hope she loves the day!

Just Thinking

Boyfriend List: We all have our boyfriend/girlfriend lists. My thirteen year old daughter has her own. Normal little crushes for her age like musicians and the like. However, her admiration extends to people I don't think other early teens would even take a second glance like Steven Colbert and Anderson Cooper. How cool is that?!

Jon Stewart: Jon had Mike Huckabee on tonight. They were discussing gay marriage, and Jon said something that rings true. Paraphrasing, of course, Jon said that in this country we support religious freedom, which is a lifestyle choice but we don't support the rights of the gay man/woman, who don't choose to be gay. Once the link to the interview is up, I'll share. If you get a chance, watch the interview. I heart you, Jon Stewart.

Zelda Pansy

Behold....puppy

 

She is nearly eight weeks old and part catahula and lab. Since she is Em's gift, Em named her.