Yeah....I'm having some issues lately. I can't tell which person in my life is causing the majority of transference issues. I don't think it's one person in particular. Work folk are pissing me off. My child is frustrating me. Some friends are wearing my emotions thin. So, I'm kind of psychologically a loon right now. Granted, I'm not some crazy ass bitch that you need to run and hide from. I'm just sort of......impatient and mean in a nice sort of way. No, I will not explain that because I really don't know how.
I'm irritable. My job is fucking boring me, which means I'm going to be unhappy and start looking elsewhere. Not a good idea considering there is nothing out there with everyone losing jobs left and right. I'm trying to combat the feelings of ennui with other activities. Just bought a membership to the Dallas Museum of Art. Hopefully go there alot. Thinking of applying for a docent position for my days off. That or just volunteering. I need to find a writing group or public forum. The library thing just never panned out the way I had wanted it. I've even thought about finding a second job, perhaps overnight so I can just wear myself out and be happy that my primary job is easy.
Sleep is crazy, as usual. Ever the insomniac. But these insane wakings? Three thirty in the morning?! Who the fuck gets up that early? Especially having slept on a few hours? I need to remedy that quickly before I start singing about robots in love leaping into each others arms or ugly snowmen. I talk and sing in my sleep, folks. It's hilarious that I'm a lucid dreamer that sleeps with ears still turned on. Yes, it's funny that you can have a fucking hilarious conversation with me when I'm at the brink of crossing over to completely incoherent thoughts and random mumblings. It's even more hilarious that my daughter has YouTubed me doing it. And no, I'm not giving you the link.
I'm lonely as hell too. I want to date but how do I do that? Advice on where a person like me can jump into that? I mean...all I want to do is meet a nice Jewish boy, settle down, and have a few more kids! Is that too much to ask?! Seriously, how does someone my age and with my circumstance date?
So much more in my head but per the code of Naomi, I'm keeping it to myself. I reveal a lot but nothing in comparison to what I don't trust anyone with. I'm going to explode one day from all that I keep to myself. Probably the main source of my irritability.
God, I need a good priest!