I pull away because it's easier than picking up pieces after being destroyed.
I think I can safely say the truth here without anyone calling the police on me because I'm just some unknown here in the internet. Today is a suicide day.
It's been heading this dark again for a little bit now especially after last week's appointment with Z.
I sit here in my car. Horrible day at work. Horrible things in life that I sweep under the rug and ignore. I have the razor blades out of the packaging. I think about calling my boss and quitting right now. Calling my mom and expecting Em. And then.....that's it.
Why the fuck do I keep going? Everyone gives up on me. I'm too overwhelming and needy. People are too exhausted with trying to help. I blame none for quietly vacating their relationships with me.
"Stop your bitching," some of you say. You're absolutely right. You apparently know me so well. And admittedly, I'm incompetent at moving forward.
SO, why can't I just do it already?!