Light and Darkness

Team Edward vs Team Jacob

Just watched Twilight with Emmaline. I laughed so much. Horrible script. Funny. Supposed to be so serious. Definitely made for the young. I don't know why women my age or older are fanatical about this. But it was two hours of comedy for me. Bad acting and bad dialogue make for hours of

A Real Love Story

I have another favorite film on my list. One about love and its infinite power to heal. It's a story about how true love is unconditional, supportive, and awe-inspiring. It is Lars and the Real Girl, starring Ryan Gosling, who I have to give kudos for playing such an unconventional role.

Gosling plays Lars who is crippled by so many fears: social involvement, physical touching, emotional attachment. He runs from his pregnant sister-in-law, who literally tackles him just to invite him to dinner. He swallows words when female co-workers say hello. He withdraws into a dark garage for protection. Until he meets Bianca, a real doll.

When first watching this film, I thought at some moment in it that Lars would get enormous backlash for being involved with Bianca. The pessimistic, socialized part of me. We fear for ourselves and others when differences are evident in a person. In such a world of intolerance, surely Lars would get heckled or worse yet, tortured for his relationship with Bianca. But it never happens. An entire town of people embrace her and help this shy, scarred, young man leave a world of introversion in his own time and in his own way. It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

It's a good ensemble of people that bring Bianca to life. Patricia Clarkson, who I have enjoyed in many things especially, The Station Agent (another film about a socially awkward person and tolerance) is in such a superb supporting role. The entire cast made this humble film into a tale of courage and love.

I'm not a doctor. But there's some holes in his stomach.

Horrorfest is going on at my theater right now. It's great. Little mini horror film festival that started last year. The films are campy but so fantastic. Surprisingly, there are some big stars in these films; noone like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, but still some names you would recognize....if your name isn't like the person who is dead to me because he doesn't know who the hell Robert Rodriguez is.

Monday night, Emmaline and I watched Tooth and Nail, which is set in Philadelphia after civilization ends as we know it. Without even watching it, you'd probably guess the premise of the film, although that's not where the title comes into play in the movie. We had fun watching this because it's entirely predictable. The characters are exactly like every character you would expect in a survival of man sort of film especially when you have them living together in a post-apocalyptic world. PREDICTABLE. What I find head-scratching about the film are the death scenes. These mountainous, Viking-like band with men the size of 300 pound bears make these earth shattering blows on tiny wimpy folks. The wimpies crawl and drag themselves away from these huge beasts in a futile attempt to get away. Several more fatal blows and then death. HOWEVER, when the wimpies fight back and get to kill their antagonists, it takes very little to fell a Giganto!

The best line of the whole film is the title of this post. I will be using it. Going around quoting it as often as I can because it' a line with that denotes sarcasm, fun, and disbelief. It's just as much fun as my favorite line...which is all me, by the way....."DAMN YOU, SCOOBY DOO!" (note: to get the full effect must have closed fist, which is shaken towards sky as to indicate being trumped by those pesky kids).

We're off to see a second film in just a moment, Unearthed. Hopefully, it will be just as awful and fun as Tooth. Laughter is so good for the soul.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Cate Blanchett is yet again, divine, reprising her role as Elizabeth, The Virgin Queen. She portrayed the monarch with the fierce strength we've heard of her in our world history classes as well as this woman whose pleasures and freedoms were always at a feather's touch away. I have admiration and sympathy for the woman who was infamously Elizabeth I.

Geoffrey Rush....oye, what a great actor. A man who always pulls interest to him, no matter the role. His voice commands attention even in a whisper. Emmaline made note of his voice also. I enjoy watching him. He acts with genuine emotion and talent. I loved him as the strange writer who by far, the best in the film, The Banger Sisters. As Walsingham, he is yet again superb.

Clive Owen. Juicy, of course. Sorry, Mr. Owen. I am a woman who can appreciate who superbly beautiful you are. Forgive me of my shallowness. Other than being gorgeous as the pirate knighted by a queen, Sir Walter Raleigh, Owen helps us have sympathy for Elizabeth. There was some stiffness in scenes, which I don't know if it was intended by him. Moments in the film that the eye contact between him and Blanchett as well as his body language garnered a love for the queen. At other times, I felt uncomfortable with him and even more sympathetic for Elizabeth. Again, intentional for effect or just awkward acting?

One other actor, I watched whilst he was onscreen. I probably wouldn't have even brought this guy up if it weren't for a quirky little film I recently watched, Danny Deckchair. Rhy Ifans. He played Robert Reston. He was really only an incidental in the film, but I watched.

Films like this one make me more and more curious about figures and events in history. I've always loved delving into history when in school; and I'm thrilled when a film piques my interest to investigate and learn more. Chacracters like Blanchett's Elizabeth are perfect for the silver screen. Bigger than life and captivating from start to close.

Of the 6.5 billion people on earth, one can't make an original movie?

Scheduled remakes:

• Barbarella
• Escape from New York
• The Karate Kid
• Star Trek
• Tron

TV to Big Screen

• Justice League of America
• Dallas
• Sex and the City
• The Incredible Hulk
• Magnum PI
• Fraggle Rock: The Movie

This just pisses me off. Yes, I go films that do this. And yes, I'm sometimes pleasantly surprised. I was upset with the whole Transformers movie when it was announced that it was going to be made. I was happy with the end result. Do you know there's a Transformers 2 scheduled for filming? Like we didn't anticipate that. Even though films can do well like the aforementioned Transformers, I'm still upset.

I don't mind books to film as much. But the remake thing is going beyond "Oh, that was a good idea to remake that film." Let's look at what's playing now.

3:10 to Yuma - Originally starred Glenn Ford in 1957. I have heard great things about the remake but again, why? Couldn't a great western have been created in the minds of the Hollywood genius? Or has Hollywood genius become an oxymoron.

The Heartbreak Kid - Starred Charles Grodin and Sybil Shepherd in 1972. If you don't like Ben Stiller (and there are those of you out there), don't go.

Halloween - Its the same but different than the Halloween of 1978 starring our beloved Jamie Lee Curtis. Just like Texas Chainsaw Massacre..."I swear that despite the same plot line, same characters and same overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, it's a different film."

Hairspray - Ok. I really enjoyed this film. But a remake? Rikki Lake in John Waters' cult classic still warms my heart. Hairspray falls into another category of lazy writing amongst the creative folks of the world. Movie to musical/musician's work to musical. Did you know there's a fucking musical called LEGALLY BLOND?! What in Mount Olympus were the Muses thinking?

Underdog - Are you fucking serious? I hated the cartoon as a kid so why the fuck would I drag my ass to this piece of atrocious shit? I'm sorry. I can't do it. I won't do. My kid wanted to see it because of Jason Lee.

The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D - I like the movie but a re-release every year is a bit ridiculous. Disney is subliminally trying to modify our brain patterns with this Tim Burton gem. Don't they understand the concept of absence and the fonder heart? Hey Disney folks, I have an idea for you.....fund a channel on cable or satellite television and broadcast the film 24hours daily. Was the revenue worth it last year to release it in 3D? I think I may have to look into that.

I want more from my film makers.  Stop the remakes. Stop the big screen adaptations of the small screen shows. Stop doing an English version of foreign films, which is yet another subject that pisses me off. Seriously, movie goers...are you that fucking lazy or close-minded that you can't watch a foreign film once in a while. We are not the center of the movie making universe. Incidentally, Bollywood is much more productive than Hollywood.

Eh, I'm done....for now. But if they bring Joanie Love Chachi to the big screen, I'm driving to LA in a rented monster truck, hitching the Hollywood sign up to a wench, and bringing that bad boy down myself. Film makers, you have been warned.

(thanks to following sites for the info: Snarkerati.com, IMDB, Moviehole.net, and Filmfodder.)

Bug

Talk about severe paranoia. This movie based upon the play of the same name is nuts. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it because I did.....but wow.

A commentary on how we lose ourselves whenever we have a dysfunctional attraction to another person? A look at the irrational yet highly addicting phenomena of conspiracy theorists? Another film exploring the depths of what scares us? All a resounding yes.

My friend Edwin and I had a conversation once during rehearsal of the play Arsenic and Old Lace. If you take away the sets, the props, and the costumes, could you still give the audience an effective performance? Well, this film to me is an ode to this sentiment. Bug's lack of multiple sets works for the film and is definitely a salute to its genesis as a play. The setting enhances the meat of this film which is the actors' and their dialogue.

As the audience, you sit stunned at what the two main characters become as the film develops. Hints of their irrationality are there from the very beginning but as the story evolves, you are just swept up at just how crazy it all becomes.

Michael Shannon resurrects the role of Peter Evans, which he performed on stage. Shannon is the consummate character actor. He moves from the intimidated quiet one to the enraged psychotic quickly and effortlessly. The role fits him like the proverbial glove; and had I not known that he played the role before, I would have thought the same. Ashley Judd's Agnes was unattractive and sympathetic. She is a broken woman with no initiative to change her circumstance, which is evident more so when she meets Peter. I wanted both characters to succeed but obvious from the start that success is a relative word.

It's an intense film that had me shaking my head, gathering my dropped jaw, and saying "What the fuck?!"

POTC 3

We screened the third installment of the Pirates adventures. Yes, it was good. No, Keith Richards' Captain Teague is not worth the all the hype brought on by the months and months of publicity. Yes, everyone is still yummy and beautiful as they have been in the past. No, I'm not going to give any spoilers away because there are those people that absolutely hate that. Yes, I'll stop with this stupid method because it's annoying me as well.

All of those that watched it said it is worth it. Understand that this movie is three hours long. I'm left with some unresolved things which I hate in a movie; and not in that "oh, that can be left in the fourth film of this series" type of unfinished business. I guess how the story goes with Davey Jones went the way it did intentionally but eh, not done. To me the entire series is a predictable yet fun ride....let us not forget that millions of dollars have been earned based upon a mediocre ride at Disney World so plot development and character building are for really superfluous.

I think with each movie after the original, Johnny Depp's Sparrow is just icing on the cake. His screen time seems to shorten with the sequels although billed as extremely important. Had anyone noticed this in the second film? The other characters' story lines and development have become much more prevalent. Intentional? Perhaps. This latest (wouldn't say last) film has Sparrow's appearances as garnish. He emphasizes points. Sparrow is integral but the lack of Depp-time proves a murderer can be found guilty without the presence of a body.

It is still a fun movie that WILL do very well in the theaters. And again, I will not be surprised with another sequel in a couple of years.

I may have more to say once the movie has been out this weekend. Eh, probably not. Just enjoy!

*BANG!* And They're Off.

Blockbuster Season, which is generally the summertime, has begun in the movie industry. Actually it began very early this year, and I guarantee that I will be one tired person when by time it's all said and done. I have missed the opportunity to review a few films but will start my season with Grindhouse, which I watched before leaving on my trip to Tennessee.

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez collaborated on this one. It's billed as two full-length features with an intermission bridging them. The first is zombie-like film called "Planet Terror" and the second is "Death Proof."

Don't go to this film taking it seriously. The story lines are not meant to be Oscar winners; they are trashy, an homage to the 70s B movies. Yes, those ones that filled your screen on Saturday and Sunday afternoons on one of the only four channels your TV received before satellite and DVRs became the average Joe's basic channels. The actors are deadpan serious in the delivery of purposefully cheesy dialogue, the shots are blocked with novice grace, and the edits are grotesquely obvious. All to the effect of brilliance!

I loved this film. I think the true connoisseurs of Grindhouse will be my generation and perhaps, my parents' as well. If you are a child of the 70s and 80s, you are going to understand why this film is going to be a favorite of this year.

"Death Proof," I warn you, does drag a bit in the beginning. But it does remind you of every slow starting cheerleader-slashing film. Once it gets going, it doesn't stop until it's over. Funny, but it reminded me of the 70s horror flick "The Car," which revolves around a driverless car that terrorizes a town. Most people have enjoyed "Planet Terror" more but Kurt Russell does such a great job that I just can't ignore the fun that is Stuntman Mike.

You may want to go to the bathroom or get your refills during the "intermission" but don't. The trailers that tie the two movies together are just as worthy of any reviewer's write-up as the main features. And count the cameo appearances.

The few moments that made me cringe are tied in directly to seeing Tarantino on screen. I just can't watch that guy at all. Great filmmaker. Obviously talented and smart. But his Alfred Hitchcock moments onscreen? Eh. His monologues in every film he appears are supposed to be quick quips that deliver  punchy little bits of dialogue that generate laughter and head nodding but to me they become long diatribes where I watch his eyes to try and figure out what the hell he's looking at while really trying to understand what the fuck he is saying. I want him to be the Wizard of Oz....put him behind the curtain and let the magic happen. He doesn't need to be revealed.

Grindhouse, it's a good one. Worthy of the shelf space you are going to give its DVD.

Springtime for Whom?

Em, Adrian (friend and fellow manager), and I saw The Producers at the Saenger Theatre tonight. Some of the cast members of the touring company came to the theater last night with their company manager. Talked to them a bit and landed some tickets to see the show. They caught a flick on us.

What a fantastic cast. They did a brilliant job. Voices were in good form. Energy amongst the actors was up and they played to the audience wonderfully. Such a good show. Em loves the movie and thought this cast did so much better.

Afterwards, we met the cast and they signed a playbill for Emmaline. What was great was that the actors that had gone to the movies had told the others about us. And they were so sweet and kind and just in great spirits. Good troupe, honestly. Held up their bus to say hi to Em and give autographs.

Check out their site and bios. See if they are playing in your town and show your love for the arts by checking out their show.

This is my Double O face.

Watched Casino Royale.

Am in love with Daniel Craig.

He is sexy. And he is blond. Amazing that I'm attracted to a blond man.

Yum.

drool

Incidentally, when you watch through this....notice my house at the end. It's the quaint one you get an arial shot of before  the film is over. It's small but we like it.

Daniel Craig.

yum

mmmmmm.

There is scene that he sits absolutely naked in a chair. You see nothing but the imagination of EVERY THING. Even the villain wanted to fuck him because he looked so good.

I say 'god damn! Goddamn. Goddamn! Mmmmm. Mmmmm. MMMM.'

Another little side note....Mr. Craig is in one of my favorite films, and I didn't recall that it was him until I IMDB'd him. The BBC version of Moll Flanders (if anyone wants to buy it for me....it's a good one.) and no, it's not the one with Gwyneth or whoever that was in it. I'm talking about the good one with Alex Kingston (who is a hottie in her own right. Awesome woman and actor). Craig plays Moll's perfect mate Jemmy, a highwayman. He was damn sexy in that too.

Ok. Vincent may just have to step aside for Daniel....maybe. Or they can share me.

And by the way....the villain is played by Mads Mikkelsen, a Danish actor that is hot! He doesn't look the linked photo in the film except in one scene where he goes sadist on Bond.

Who doesn't like a good James Bond movie? Seriously, you're dead to me if you answer no..