Light and Darkness

No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between what I thought
And what I said

You are the night time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over you'll start
You're my head
You're my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

Through the crowds, crying out at me
In your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

Would you leave me,
If I told you what I've done?
And would you need me,
If I told you what I've become?
'cause it's so easy,
To say it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love,
To say it to you alone

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day,
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
No light
Tell me what you want me to say

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation

You want a revelation,
You wanna get it right
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation, some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say.

Falling by Florence + The Machine

16 - Florence And The Machine - Falling

 

I hear this and miss him.

Is There Anybody Out There?

Is There Anybody Out There?

Is There Anybody Out There?

Is There Anybody Out There?

Is There Anybody Out There?

The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel

How I'm feeling more or less on this day. Is it time once again to find relief in a pill or on a therapist's couch?

 

sigh....

 

I think so. This is too much for some of the friends who are actually caring enough about my life to place on their plates. I hate this shitty feeling. I just want to fight right now. Verbally and physically fight. Not a good thing. If I had money, I would take a fucking boxing class; but alas, money is just another thing to stress about.

 

sigh....

 

The Boxer

 

I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Lie la lie ...

Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there

Lie la lie ...

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

Lie la lie ...

Mood Indigo by Nina Simone

This woman is the shit. She and Ella are probably at the top of my heart list. Incidentally the High Priestess of Soul's birthday is this month (February 21) so we'll have a Nina Day!

You ain't never been blue, no, no, no
You ain't never been blue
Till you've had that mood indigo
That feeling goes stealing down to my shoes
While I just sit here and sigh
Go along blues

I always get that mood indigo
Since my baby said goodbye
And in the evening when the lights are low
I'm so lonely I could cry
For there's nobody who cares about me
I'm just a poor fool that's bluer than blue can be
When I get that mood indigo
I could lay me down and die

You ain't never been blue, no, no, no
You ain't never been blue
Till you've had that mood indigo
That feeling goes stealing down to my shoes
While I just sit here and sigh
Go along blues

In the Mausoleum by Beirut

Because Mental Illness Never Goes Away

I have been weeping and sad for days now. Every year before my birthday, I get more reflective and sadder than usual.

 

 

Dreaming by Loudon Wainright III

 

I'd rather be dreaming than living
Living's just too hard to do
It's chances not choices
Noises not voices
A day's just a thing to get through
Living's just too hard to do

I'd rather be dreaming than talking
There's nothing to hear or to say
With ears covered mouth closed
The world is opposed
Nothing gets in or away
There's nothing to hear or to say

I'd rather be dreaming than thinking
Thoughts are small comfort to me

Dreams might be pretend
But at least dreams end
And I just can't stop thinking you see
Thoughts are small comfort to me

I'd rather be dreaming than sleeping
Just sleeping you're just as well dead
In dreams I can fly
In dreams I don't die
That's why I lie here in this bed

Just sleeping you're just as well dead

I'd rather be dreaming

Big Girl (You are Beautiful) by Mika

I dare you not to dance!

I Am a Rock by Simon and Garfunkel

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.