Light and Darkness

The Use of "I"

I am not the greatest grammarian. I make mistakes frequently. I also like to make-up words and use things as adjectives that really aren't adjectives. It's fun. Makes for good television when you read my stuff. I don't proofread my posts nor do I spell-check them, so you get my thoughts in all their grammar-mistakes (see, what I'm saying about the adjectives thing?) glory. HOWEVER, I am tired of seeing the incorrect use of I when identifying pictures.

When you are labeling your pictures on MySpace or Flickr or anyfreakingwhere, please make note of the following.

It is "my sister and me" or "my best friend and me" or "Jessica and me" or "Billy Bob and me, standing in front of the Vegas chapel" for fuck's sake!

This is the rule I used to help Emmaline use me and I correctly. When you are identifying yourself as the subject of a sentence, use I. For example, Billy Bob and I were standing in front of the Vegas Chapel before our ceremony. If you remove Billy Bob from the subject (change the verb, of course), it would still make sense. I was standing in front of the Vegas Chapel before our ceremony. Try it the other way and it's illiterate speak for "Me stupid!" Billy Bob and me were standing in front of the Vegas Chapel. Me was standing in front of the Vegas.....

Now, let's apply the same rule to identifying pictures.
Billy Bob and me, Vegas Chapel.....Me, Vegas Chapel. Works, right?
Billy Bob and I, Vegas Chapel......I, Vegas Chapel. Who fucking talks like that?

If you can't do it right, just label yourself with your name. Takes all the guess work out of it. Holy Hell!

This is I in front of school. Yes, me can do it. Me can read.

How Python has crept into our lives.

I'm stealing from my friend, The Reverend again because this is the absolutely funniest thing.

The straight man delivery of every single line makes you shake your head and just pee with laughter.

Good God...I can watch this so many times.

My favorite lines have to do with cardboard and paper derivatives and cellotape.

Jeff Probst, Mrs. Parks is Pissed!

What the fuck?! Have you heard about the new Survivor?

I don't watch the show as it is. I watched the first episode of the first season. That's all. I make fun of the show. But, my friends....this is the second worst idea for a reality show (the first would be allowing this idiot decide what happens to a racial diverse group of people living together isolated from the real world).

I hope Probst has something more in mind than just having black on white on Asian on Latino crime. And did you read some of the things Probst said about the show? This one kills me. "Probst says contestants had mixed reactions to the racial divisions." No shit! Really? Could it be that the people who find this disturbing were against it and those willing to pay the $35 membership fee to join the KKK were all for it? Maybe? Could be?

Wow! Mark Burnett must really be hard up for the money (yeah, that was a joke) that he's willing to stress relationships between an already divided world. Stupid fucker!

If you watch this show, don't talk to me. Seriously, I'm not kidding.

The "Thumbs Up" but Where?

My friend Tom has been having issues on his street for weeks now. Crews have been destroying the roads to install drainage pipes, and Tom's poor yard has been used as a thoroughfare by every driver in the neighborhood because the trucks and work have been dominating the actual street.

Welllllll, as Tom recently told me, "The Saga Continues." Unfortunately this is one of those stories that went from a mild disruption of daily life to actual death.

Evidently there was the smell of gas indicating a gas leak....A smell of gas would mean that, right?! Construction was halted. Gas company called. The gas utility gave the 'Thumbs Up,' which is what, folks?! Oh, I don't know. It is the universal translation for 'go ahead. You're crew can continue,' right? Yep.  And they did. They did continue. And then there was an explosion and a worker was consumed in a ball of fire. The gas company? No comment.

Hmmmm! Again, I ask....Thumbs Up where?

Tragic accidents happen but Wow! Gas leak. Explosion. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes or his less intelligent side-kick Watson to put those two clues together. Could be a freakishly odd thing that one does not lead to the other.

Annnnnnnnnnd. I can't find it on the local paper's site. I've looked. Maybe I'm dumb. But it's odd that I can find a story about three people being injured in a local car collision or a bit on taser guns as well as another auto collision...but I haven't been able to find anything on an explosion except the transcript on the local television news' station . Wouldn't you think that would make the news?

Thank You for Caring About Us!

I'm sure all of you have read of the proposed to give the American taxpayers, each a $100 gas rebate to offset the pain we suffer at the pumps each and every day. If you read the entire Congressional proposal, you will see the true subject of it. Attaching the little rebate perk at the end of a paper that opens the doors for decimating the Alaskan wildlife and Gulf Coast waters, only insures a big fat "NO" on a Benjamin gracing any of our mailboxes. Now....if they had attached that little baby to a proposal that had the following heavy as its other noteworthy voting moment, we would each be a hundred dollars richer: "My fellow gorgeous and intelligent representatives of the people of these here United States of America, I propose we continue to call Sunday by its name, Sunday."

Something like that and that rebate is good as ours. But saying 'let's pass this so we can kill the baby seals and pretty dolphins whilst we explore nature for Black Gold?' Uh-uh. Not going to happen.

Yes, there's more to the measure than those two issues but still? What person (especially a person whose job depends on being re-elected) is going to vote yes to a hot topic like that and risk the outrage and retaliation of conservationists, naturalists, and other Green voters?

And in regards to the gas rebate relief, can I mention that yesterday I filled my little Nissan Sentra GXE. My ten year old manual transmission sedan. My very reliant Pig that gets awesome gas mileage. It cost $30. Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars. And free is even better, but what the hell kind of relief is that? May I also mention that if I am encourage to buy a hybrid, by all means could you make it affordable?!

sigh...I leave you with this. My hunger for intelligent wit has been satiated. THANK YOU, CARRIE! Below is my hero of the day. Please note the bolded text for emphasis...and do really think what this means.

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a new conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive back the few block back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)