My Weekend

Well, to say the least, my weekend mostly sucked.  My boyfriend got pissed off at me on Saturday night and broke up with me this afternoon.  I hope everyone else had a better weekend.  I guess that I can write about it here.  It's not like he's ever going to read this.  I don't think that he has ever read anything that I have ever written.  Even if he does, at least he'll know how I feel.  Of course I still love him.  Why?  He used to make me laugh.  I'm certainly not laughing now.  That's for damn sure.  My eyes are so swollen from crying, it hurts to close them so that I can get some sleep.  The worst part?  As a guy, I think tht he is missing the gene that makes him to be able to understand how bad he has hurt me.  He seems pretty oblivious to the fact that he has shattered my heart into thousands of tiny shards.  If he asked me to come back, would I?  Unfortunately, I would.  Mostly because I want it to work out so bad.  It took me a little over 12 years to even give my heart to someone again.  I thought that he was "the one".  Whenever I was with him, my heart soared, I had butterflies in my stomach.  He wants us to still be friends and hang out together.  Will I do that?  Yep. I probably will.  Why, you ask?  Maybe I'm just a freak who enjoys pain and suffering.  Or maybe I know that it's just the only way that I'll still be able to see him.  I'm sure that everytime I see him, I'll be losing a crucial part of my soul, but I don't think that I can stay away from him.  I love him way too much to just completely write him off.  I couldn't do that.  I'm just so empty right now.  I can't stop crying.  Right when I think I'm done, the waterworks start up again.  It's kind of annoying.  Then the snot thing starts.  I'm not a pretty crier.  I get the splotchy face thing, too.  It's all very attractive.  I'd probably break up with me, too.  Just kidding.  Well, I think that I am going to attempt to sleep.  I had to set two alarms for the morning, since I won't be getting my morning wake-up call from him.  I know that it has to get better.  If it gets worse, I won't be able to handle it.

Comments

[Nae]

I know you can handle it. You have endured things you've said the same thing about it. You are stronger than you imagine.

Aaron is an insensitive prick. The reason he gave you for the break-up is hurtful, judgemental, and cruel. And he doesn't deserve the beauty that is you.

I hope he and Brad are happy together. They can go and fuck like bunnies and live happily ever after. Stupid, immature, self-righteous, motherfucking redneck!

Give me a second and I'll really tell you how I feel!

Wish I could hug you.

Love you, Betts