What do you do when you love someone so much that you get butterflies every time that you think of them? What do you do when you say "I Love You" and they no longer say it back? You can't just turn your back on everything that has been shared. Everytime he doesn't say "I Love You", my heart breaks. You would think by now that I would not have anything left to break, but somehow I do. He used to always say it. We used to never end a phone conversation without both of us saying "I Love You". We used to never say "Goodbye" without also saying "I Love You". What changed? It justs seems like things are so different now. I haven't changed, but it seems like he has. I don't know if even likes me anymore, let alone if he loves me. I just feel like he just never wants to be anywhere with me. Like he's ashamed of me, or something. It was never like that before. I just don't know what the hell happened! We went on vacation together. Everything was great. Then we came home. It just seems that within a month of coming home, things started to change. I'm not sure why. All I know is that I love him so much. I would do anything for him. Whatever he asked of me. Why can't he see how much I love him? Why can't he see how much I'm hurting? This so fucking sucks! Do I have to tell him everything?!? Can he not see? I shouldn't have to always tell him everytime that I'm hurting or when I'm sad. Shouldn't he just know? Shouldn't he be able to tell? I know that he has told me before that it's hard for him to talk about his feelings. I guess that it's just hard for me to understand, because I am used to people coming up to me, complete strangers even, and telling me about things that are going on in their life. I guess I'm just a good listener. I'm not good with advice, but I have always been the ear to hear whenever anyone has a problem. I suppose that was God's way of letting me know that he had given me the gift of being an Intercessor. I have always been more atuned to other people's feelings and hurts. I'm more eager to focus and help someone else before myself. When it comes to me, I'm just at a loss. I'm like the kid wearing the Dunce cap at the front of the class. I just don't know what to do. I love him so much, I don't want to give him up. But, I can't continue to let my happiness be compromised.
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