The thought process at work. Things to ponder while doing the boring stuff. I'd love to hear responses on these: Guess I owe answers, hmmm?
Would you date a mentally ill person? Doesn't matter when you discover (s)he has a mental illness, but how would you respond? What mental illnesses would you deal with and what ones would cause you to head for the door? Well, I'm sure I've gone out with a person or two with some sort of mental illness. HOWEVER, I think it would be difficult for two people who similar to me trying to maintain a relationship. ALOT of work but good relationships are worth it. And I wouldn't want anyone discriminating against me.
If the bartering system was implemented again replacing all monetary exchanges, what do you have for trade? Can you provide goods (do you have hens or a garden, can you make clothing, dog pregnant with pups, etc) or are you service oriented (great cook, can teach, awesome mechanic, etc)? Examine what and who you are. Well, I've been told I've got a natural flair for decorating. Also I can teach/tutor and have. Wares? Pretty good gardener so I'm sure I could survive in a farming capacity. I learn quickly so I can probably pick up a few tools to help me survive. I'm a Jill of all trades, sort of girl
Do you wait to give help until you're asked or are you the first to say what can I do? how much do you need? I'm a little bit of both. I offer and leave an open ticket for what I can do to help. Sometimes I will just give. Other times I will wait until someone asks me specifically. Matter of reading the situation.
Borrowed from Pulp Fiction: do you really listen or are you waiting to talk? I've answered this question in the past as waiting to talk. BUT I don't think I'm really one of those type people that talk constantly over another without listening (I know people who are seriously like this). I think I really do listen. I try to ask questions that will get the other person talking. I think I'm a pretty good conversationalist. And I do talk in order to give frame of reference. So yes, I'm a very talkative person but I'm actually quite a good listener.
What do you regret saying to someone and who was it? I regret how I stood up to myself to my parents. I don't think I was wrong in telling them that I am worth more than the shit they've given me but it came out very angry and unfocused. Lots of other regrets but not as dominant in my life's foreground.
Ever give/send flowers to someone (doesn't have to be a professional bouquet)? Oh yes. A few males in my adolescence and early adulthood received flowers from me in declaration of my crushing them. I also share flowers I've gotten myself with coworkers and friends. I love giving flowers. By the way, if anyone would LOVE to give me flowers...my favorite are Gerber Daisies. ;-)
Middle name? Like it? Germino (pronounced Her-me-no) and I do. Story of my middle name...it wasn't originally my middle. It was my last name, my mother's maiden name. My biological father and my mom never married. So when I was six years old, I was legally adopted by the man my mother eventually married and had my siblings with. Thus, officially my previous last name became my middle name. When I attended Lambuth U., many people got used to calling me Germino. And the name is both a Spanish and Italian surname. And to digress even more...my mother's grandparents immigrated to the Philippines from Spain....little Nae trivia for you.
1. I've dated mentally ill people. Married one too. I'm probably a lil mentally ill myself. I really don't know too many "normal" people. Would I date again a mentally ill person....it depends on the severity of their illness. If they were dangerous I would say NO (beaters and the likes).
2. Bartering and trade...geez anything I can make I would trade. Wouldn't beable to trade live stock (puppies and the likes). I love the barter system, wish it would return 100%. For that house I will trade you this pebble. :D heehee.
3. I would say I am a little bit of both. I usually will ask if someone needs my help...or I will watch to see if they need my help and ask if they would like me to help them. I think it's just part of my personality of being a helper and actually enjoying helping people (especially when they truly appreciate the help.) I do also do things with out anyone knowing.
4. I'm actually a natural listener. Lately I admit I have become a bit less patience with listening and talking, but not so much that I won't lend an ear to a friend or family member...or even a stranger.
5. Hmm...regrets I try not to have too many of those. I can't even think of any right now...oh...telling my husband my past relationships (sexual..etc). I do regret that.
6. Given flowers to men, women, children...I think flowers are wonderful to have, wonderful to smell, and view, and touch, and even better given to someone.
7. I don't have a middle name. My uncle actually named me Arlene...because my parents couldn't decide if what to name me. My mom told me she wanted to name me Maryanne...I have to say thank goodness they listened to my uncle. :)
Posted by: Ali | 17 March 2004 at 01:10 PM
Lori makes an excellent point about free will and being asked for help. I would like to clarify, I don't just start helping, I put in an offer that can be taken or refused with no hurt feelings on either side.
Mae was my grandmother's middle name, Lori, although it was always said with the first name as all one name...Ola Mae. And when I got divorced from my first husband I found out you can change your name for free. Any part of your name. Well I just made up a last name and took it because I no longer wanted to be called by my father or my husband's last names. Coventree it was, for a while. Then I got married again and did the traditional taking of the husband's last name.
Posted by: Alicia | 17 March 2004 at 10:55 AM
Dating a mentally ill person...I think sanity is such a relative term. Honestly, if you know about the DSM-IV, then you know that diagnosing a person with a mental illness is not an exact science at all. In fact, it is highly subjective. I think honesty is the best policy, and education goes a long way in helping a person understand the nature of the illness. Just as people may not want to date someone with a physical illness, there are going to be those who don't want to date someone with a mental illness. The person who can see past either type of illness is the one you want to date ;-)!
Bartering: I can cook and bake. I can crochet sweaters, blankets, and other wearables, and home decor items. I have some ability with web design and photgraphic talents. I can do some carpentry things, but not beyond my own home repair and I still need guidance from Pooky (he is the master carpenter). I can grow flowers and some vegetables. I'm very adept at taking care of cats and making them so happy.
I wait to be asked if help is required. My philosophy is this: free will should not be infringed upon without someone first giving their consent. Otherwise you are infringing upon their free will. This may sound lame, but I highly respect free will.
A majority of the time I'd have to confess, I'm waiting to talk. I guess I better listen more.
The list of regrets for saying something is quite long, and covers too many people.
Yes, I've sent flowers.
Middle name is Mae, which was my mother's middle name and her mother's middle name. I hate it! I think it's just too blah. I'd prefer to have a much niftier middle name, but never have come up with a better one.
Posted by: Lori | 16 March 2004 at 08:36 PM
I have dated the mentally ill. Not severely ill, mind you. Some mentally ill are in no position to maintain a healthy relationship (or any relationship) even if I were willing. So that one depends.
Barter: coding, graphics, drawing, writing/editing, babysitting, cooking, some cleaning, yardwork/gardening, sewing...I am a service provider when it comes to bartering. :)
I usually jump in first to see what I can do, but it does depend on the situation.
I have learned to listen.
regret? "yes," to a few people.
flowers? yes.
Middle name? Lang. Like it? Yes.
great questions, Naomi. :)
Posted by: Alicia | 16 March 2004 at 05:36 PM
Date mentally ill person? Depends on the individual.
Barter? Carpentry, ceramics, counseling, writing term papers.
Wait or ask? Depends on the person and the situation.
Listening is underrated.
Regret saying? Nothing quickly comes to mind.
Flowers? Yes.
Posted by: kane | 16 March 2004 at 04:57 PM