Losing My Religion

I'd quote REM but don't wanna.

I'm trying to find a new religion to invest in. I feel very alone not communing with others about God or the creator or whatever the hell you want to use. I don't think there is a proper name for the deity.

Sooo, what religion am I?

Do I really subscribe to being a Christian? I'm not sure. When I was a child, I learned about Christ but I didn't pray to him or even really pay any true spiritual attention to him. I took all my cares and worries and prayers to the source, God. To this day, I spend more time talking to the top dog. I want to learn more about Jesus in a anthropological/archeological/historical manner. Learn more about him as a figure in history compared to a religious way. Not to lessen his meaning but to see him as a person. I'd like to see his role and its impact on men and how it changed religions....nothing about his miraculous incarnation. I want to see him strictly as a man of our history.

My beliefs. What religion do they resemble more? I believe in God's duality. I don't think that evil and good are separate forces. I believe that NOTHING exists on its own separate from God. God is truely omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. If this is my belief; then what men has defined as the devil, Satan, evil can NOT rule side by side with God. It cannot have the same amount of power or influence and be separate from God. If so, then Christianity is not a monotheistic religion. It's polytheistic. I believe in only one God. The evil can only exist with God's permission. Correct? Only way I can see this being possible is having God control the good and the bad. If using the Bible as reference, Job supports this. The devil had to have permission from God to test Job. God allowed the ills that fell upon Job's house.

God's duality leads to questions like is the Trinity true? If God's good side is split into three personas, then wouldn't it be safe to assume that the evil side would have more than one incarnation? If not more than one, then God should at least be defined other than being the Trinity....there's the ever presence of bad.

This isn't saying that I condone wickedness or evil or ill-treatment of one another. I believe there is a balance. Many Asian religions incorporate this belief of balance. And it's not a matter of one side winning over the other. Any situation, trial, tribulation can be seen as a joyful blessing of God or temptation of the devil. Isn't it both? Isn't it then a testament of how man overcomes it all? A test of how he balances the nature of it all? Does he succumb to the negative energies or rise above them and survive?

Man's goal is to overcome the sinful nature of himself. I define sin as anything that separates us from God. We try to overcome the test of emotional, mental, and physical adversities to become one with this mysterious power we know as Creator. God is perfect and infinite...perfect and infinite balance, knowledge, and being...and our movements through life are to attain that perfect connection with him/her nd withing ourselves.

Another belief....ALL RELIGIONS ARE FALSE. Anything man-made is full of fallacies. I don't care if something was divinely inspired. The innerworkings of man will always...always....interpret the messages for his own benefit. All religions' roots are from a previous religion. They start the same way. Followers believe in all the tenets of a religion except for that one thing. Perhaps it was whether or not you can eat pork, wash your hair, worship idols, believe in divorce, etc...Someone disagreed with one or two things and developed a new sect, religion, denomination. So...religions are inherently false and created for the benefit of man's ease and pleasure....sort of makes you question why I want to find a religion, yes?

I believe that throughout the ages there have been men and women who have come close to that delicate relationship between God and us. We have/had prophets who achieved more wisdom and spiritual strength. I think these people span all the world religions which leads me back to wondering what role Christ plays in our lives?

Thousands of questions race about my head. I know I truely won't find one religion that ultimately describes my personal spirituality. I hate that I'm starting at square one with finding my religious place in the world. I'm not trying to start a whole new belief system. I think I'm just looking for a spiritual leader that could help guide me. Perhaps a guru that can help me synchronize all the thoughts and voices within me so that I can focus on building my own relationship with God. I need someone worldly and wise that listens to her/his own quiet whisperings and doesn't want me to worship at any man's religious altar. A teacher that raises questions and perhaps answers others. I need to be someone's Grasshopper.

Comments

[Lori]

I hear you on this topic. I have long sought to find a "religion" or a group of people who think similarly as I do, only to find that no such group ever meets my criteria, because there is no true religion. There is only spirituality that is unique to each person, and at times we may be able to join together to exchange ideas and learn from each other, but the moment you start making religion, the whole essence collapses and you get bogged down in dogma and "no, it should be this way and not that".

I have found like minded people, and there is a church not far from me that seems promising, but I am reluctant to join them simply because groups have this "life of their own" and even though the group seems open-minded, it is still religion. The church focuses on Christ, but incorporates elements of Eastern thought. Eventually I will attend a service just because I want to make connections with the community.

If you want to see Jesus in a new light, I can suggest to you a list of books that I own, and I'd be happy to lend them to you. Along those lines, I have additional books by favorite spiritual authors whom I think you might enjoy reading. Again, I'd lend these books to you. (I say lend rather loosely, for if you don't return them I'm not going to get wiggy.)

There is one parting thought I'd like to leave you with. People always feel that they need to find a teacher, a master, a guru, to show them the way or to give them the answers. I have learned over time that the best person to help you is: You. Within you are all the answers that you seek, and ultimately You known what is best for You. When you look to someone else for the answers, for the guidance that you require, you abdicate your free will, and that someone starts telling you how you should think and feel. This is what religion does to people: it tells them how they should think and feel and doesn't let them listen to their inner voice.

E-mail me if you'd like to know more about the books I have, and if you'd like me to mail you any of them. I'd be more than happy to do so.